I'm on some dating apps and have no trouble getting dates, but I feel like the dates are just "good" and not "great" - nothing goes wrong, we make good conversation for two hours - I ask lots of questions; they appear to laugh at my jokes. I try to go beyond typical "do you have any siblings"/"do you like your job" shit if possible.
But there's rarely any actual flirting or chemistry, and there's especially no follow-up from my dates side, even if we had a fine evening over a few drinks. I can tell that women think I'm perfectly...pleasant. Maybe even funny and "kind of cool" at best. But I sense that I'm not particularly exciting anyone. I'm not using dating apps specifically to hook up, but I hear about people who do and I can't even wrap my mind around how two people connect/create intimacy that rapidly. It feels like there's a completely different universe where people go on dates and actually form connections/attraction to each other, and any literature on flirting or tension on a date it is rife with really corny PUA bullshit that I don't think anyone is actually doing IRL.
It's starting to feel like one of those "some people just got it, and some people don't"...like it's some kind of vibe that you either just have or you don't. I'm just trying to get some perspective on what really made a good date for you, what really made you jonesing to see your date again?
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