I’m a man and turning 25 in a month. I’ve begun to feel very alienated and cynical. I was dumped a month and a half ago by a girl I dated for a year and a half who I honestly thought I’d marry someday. She always talked about the future to me. But then one day I guess she got scared of it and left. Said I did nothing wrong and that I was a great boyfriend.
When I get on dating apps, I don’t know how to be on the same page as someone in respect to what I’m looking for, without scaring a girl off. I’m old fashioned. I don’t like hookups. I thrive in a serious, loving, long term committed relationship. All I want is to make someone endlessly happy and for them to want me to be endlessly happy. I’d like to make it clear that I am by no means LEADING with this information as thats abrasive no doubt, but I have known exactly what I want out of a relationship since I was 16. I’m not interested in wasting their time and I’m not interested in having my time wasted either. I have never dumped a girl in all my relationships because I’m a firm believer in talking out issues and communicating, and I’ve never had an issue extreme enough to leave someone over. I’ve only ever been dumped by being told “you’re too good for me” or “I got scared and I don’t know what I want”. I’m loyal, I’m affectionate, I’m a good listener, I go out of my way for my girl, and I try my best to be a constant they can depend on. I have enough self worth to recognize these as good traits and I hate feeling punished for being kind to someone.
I’ve dated girls who wanted a serious relationship that would lead to marriage, a home, and kids someday. Yet when the prospect becomes more real that those things could become reality years down the road, (after about a year and a half of being with me) that’s when the aforementioned fear comes out and they COMPLETELY go cold and fall out of love in a matter of weeks.
I don’t know where to find the right match for me anymore. I’ve been made to feel wrong every time I thought I did everything right, and I try to be a man of conviction and not abandon my principles just because someone else didn’t see eye to eye. I don’t want to be cynical. I don’t want to be hopeless. And I don’t want to feel like I’m always in the wrong for wanting ”the american dream” type of future.
I have passions and hobbies, a great career, a beautiful apartment, a nice car, a good family, awesome friends, I work out 4 times a week, and I try to get out and be social whenever I can. I’ve worked so hard to build a life for myself that I’m proud of, but I don’t know where to look for the partner piece of the puzzle when I have a definitive idea of what I want anymore...
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