Hello everyone - this is a bit of a long one, and I'm an overanalyser, so first instinct was to come seek advice on here. I'll try keep it short with bullet points.
- Matched with a girl at start of February on a dating app.
- We began texting and hit it off.
- We were messaging each other essay length paragraphs, that were around 2000 characters, and we would text once a day (given our work commitments/life/time it took to reply).
- We went on our first date within 2 weeks of talking, and then proceeded to go on 3 more dates over the next few weeks.
- On the 2nd date, I went in for the kiss, she was going in for the hug, but she leaned in to kiss me in the last second, and we had an awkward/funny half-kiss. We laughed it off.
- On the 3rd date, she went in for the kiss, we made out. On the 4th date, we both went in at the same time.
- For some context before I move on, this girl is inexperienced - never had a boyfriend, and only been on a couple of dates.
- During the physical dating period, I let her know by text that 'I like her' to which she would reply 'I like this too' etc.
- At the end of our 3rd date, I told her that I liked where this was going, I was not seeing other people or talking to other people, and I would like to explore the idea of 'us' exclusively. She agreed and felt the same way.
- Now, COVID-19 came into the situation, and she suggested we hold off on our 5th date that we planned. I agreed.
- I suggested instead that we take our dates online so we can keep this going. She agreed.
- Since then, we have had almost 7-8 dates online. We've talked on the phone, Facetimed, played pictionary/board games, watched Netflix and played the questions game a few times which was the real opener for us.
- Now this girl is a super bad texter. Her responses vary from anywhere between 3 hours to 15+ hours. She'll be active on social media etc, but wont text me back. There were situations where I messaged her at 8PM at night and didn't hear from her until 5PM the next day, which left me wondering whether she likes me, or was actually ok as I was worried.
- On one of our phone calls, we briefly talked about this. I said it almost makes me think she doesn't like me. She apologised and reassured me she did, and that she's just bad at 'this'. The same thing has happened a few times again, which has annoyed me.
- On the same phone call, she told me she liked where this was going, and she likes that I am a forward/honest communicator. She told me she's a closed book because she feels vulnerable, therefore its a defence mechanism.
- On another phone call later, she was opening up about something and she quickly joked "Look at me, I'm opening up!".
- Now during our conversations during COVID-19, via text and phone, we both have discussed things like what the first date again will look like, and things we want to do. We talk about the movies we want to add to our list to watch, we started watching Tiger King together and agreed we'll keep watching it during the week. So she's seeing a future.
- Now for further background, I have always initiated each of our dates.
- I always initiate our texts after our dates. I usually say good morning etc.
- I always throw cheeky puns and pick up lines at her (she knows I'm goofy) and she just rolls her eyes and laughs at them.
Dear Reddit - quite simply, I AM GETTING TIRED! I am getting tired of leading, initiating and carrying everything. Keep in mind, she does her part during the dates and shows enthusiasm, but when we go away from the date, it feels like she's not interested?
We had our date last night, and its the next morning now. I haven't texted her, and am simply wanting to play the game to see if she texts me first..
TLDR: dating a girl for 2.5 months, always leading texting and dates, and getting tired of carrying everything. Is it worth it?
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