I just blocked and deleted this guy (30) who was my FWB that i met off tinder last summer. So I have been seeing him since then, i only go over to his because he has the space for it, i dont. Dude started off lying about living alone, having a bigger dick, but i didnt think it was that big of a deal since I was just curious to fuck w him. Anyway couple meet ups later hes talking to me all sweet like hes interested in dating, even mentions what would my parents think if i dated a guy his age, and at first i COMPLETELY disregarded it because we were just fuck buddies and I did not want to invest interest in something serious because when I do, I am so deep and genuine about it. He keeps telling me im the best hes ever had, first Mexican girl hes ever been with, first girl he likes to go down on, first girl whose not completely bare down there that he finds hot. So after a couple weeks of all that talk I tell him i dont think hes too old to date cause i really dont think he is. But I warned him i was crazy, i had a toxic family environment growing up, still do, and my first serious relationship ruined me (i literally dropped out of uni, worked a shit ton but wasted all my money on weed), so because of all that I was blunt on how I need assurance and authenticity but never really made it official cause he never took me out. I also have had an eating disorder since i was 14 (something he def doesnt know). So i really never saw the level of depth from him that made me BELIEVE him, but I still liked his way of talking me up, all the “youre the best, cute, youre mine, babe, miss you, we will do all that” shit talk he did to me really made me all warm. And add the fact he is sooooo good at pleasing me. Idk I just never imagined id actually be hurt by this guy, so everytime he told me “lets just keep chilling and wait for me” i argued but never left. he also opened up slightly about his life to me, and texted me every so often, sometime it was weird tho and didnt text me for 8+hrs or until the whole next day. Like was this dude even remotely interested in me? Or was I just dumb to put myself in this situation? I even let him use toys on me, and without a condom, which was so intimate to me. Im just empty and feel dirty. How do I stay at peace with this?
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