So there's this girl (17F) that I (16F) had a crush on for approx 2 months in autumn 2019, we met at school and are in the same very close group of friends. I developed a crush not long after meeting her since our friend group formed during back to school 2019.
I gathered my courage and shot my shot one night after dinner, since we all are in boarding school, around november. She told me she liked me but in a platonic way and I understood. I stopped having a crush on her in early 2020 and we still hung out as friends, went to parties with the group, and no awkwardness at all, it was great.
She got a boyfriend around march and she left him after the lockdown (summer 2020 in france), we weren't at school anymore and it did nothing to me since I didn't have feelings anymore. But here's the more complicated part:
During a house party in september with our same group of friends as we were back in school since the beginning of september, we were both quite drunk and flirted a lot. When the others went away to dye my friend's hair, we started making out, they found out when they came back and told us jokingly but not jokingly that we could take a room of we wanted and they left us alone, so we did take a room. It was my first time ever (not hers because she had had that boyfriend i mentioned earlier) and my only since yesterday.
It was great but I knew she didn't want a relationship and my crush came back HARD. I told my best friend who is also her roommate, she helped me have that conversation with her to be sure we didn't want to be a couple or something. I still had feelings but I didn't want a relationship either so it was cool. Still, during parties and around our friend group we joked about it but it sometimes got flirty, e.g. I said that I didn't want to have kids later and she said "I want 4 so we're gonna have 4" with a wink, etc.
We got super close when we were all at her house 2 weeks ago, so I texted her later asking if I made it up or if there was a chance we could have ended the night together. And she said yes! I was so excited because I really like her.
Fast forward to yesterday, I invited my friends including her to go in my boarding school bedroom because I'm the only one to have AC in the bathroom so we can smoke weed together. It was fun, she didn't touch the joint because she doesn't smoke, but me and my friends got quite high. We were all sitting on the floor with blankets and I went layed down right next to her. She layed down too and we were facing each other. I'm not sure what happened but all of my friends left, leaving her and I alone. We hookep up a second time on my bed but didn't do much because she was on her period. I LOVED it because we cuddled and kissed a lot and tbh it was the best part. I still wasn't all the way sober so I know I sucked but yeah I don't regret it at all.
I want her to keep being affectionate with me, I still don't want a relationship and I think she thinks the same way, but I wish we could get closer when not in the bedroom. Like when we hang out I wish I could put my head on her lap, things like that. And I wish I could make a move without being intoxicated...
How do I tell her I just like touching her and cuddling and that it doesn't always have to be paired with sex? How could I get the courage to get close to her without having the "excuse" of being high(or the excuse that we're being sexual)? I think she likes me too, she always tells me I'm cute and that she likes me, but I don't know how to make the move, I get flustered when she's here and we're such good friends, I want it to go as smoothly as possible. I really need advice "
(Sorry for weird grammar, english is not my first language and I'm on phone)
[link] [comments]
from Dating Advice https://ift.tt/35fcgoK
via IFTTT
No comments:
Post a Comment