I don't know how to start, and I don't know who else to talk to about this. But it's been bothering me for a long time, so I figured I just post here and get some help. Growing up I was always rather shy, and sort of developed a low self esteem from how I was raised by parents and older siblings, it still bothers me today and I still feel a sense of not being enough. I think I just mentioned the problem, I don't really like myself that much and it's sabotaging my chances of meeting someone.
It's just, the more I think about it, the more I feel like I'm a loser and I'm no good because no one wants to be around me. I start to think that because I don't have experience with women, I will be too old to have kids by the time I meet the person who's right for me. I already feel like I wasted my youth, and my day to day lifestyle isn't all that interesting. I'm still an undergraduate student, I should've finished a while back but I kept taking time off because the work would be too overwhelming for me, and everytime I'm faced with something difficult I just run away. I know this is killing my chances of meeting someone, and I have a hard time not seeing myself as someone lesser becuase I haven't met someone that wants to be with me. I know that this is harmful thinking, but I just can't shake the feeling that I'm not even worth liking.
I know this is the result of how I think about myself. I'm going to councelling to work on these thoughts. But it's still very hard to think better about my situation. I really don't see anyone ever liking me, and if they do I'll be too old.
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