So, little backstory: I'm a 27yo guy living in a small'ish city (around 400k pop). I used to be in a 8 year relationship (engaged actually), from my 16th 'til 24. So, as i jokingly like to say: while you guys were learning how to date, i was homeschooled.
After my breakup, i was in a pretty dark place, that fueled my already existing Dysthymia, that at one point may have grown into full on depression, but i somehow climbed out of that pit, and while i still get a bit negative, i'm doing way better.
Now, i did the only rational thing to do while handling all of that crap, and that is to work on myself, and generally 'find myself'.
So queue to today, i'm a 27yo guy living alone in a huge house i own, i make a really good living, have a super stable and interesting job. Other than working a lot, i keep all of my daily duties in check (have been praised to be the cleanest bachelor most people met), have 3 amazing doggos, i discovered my love for traveling and cooking, so i spent a lot of time backpacking around Africa/Asia to hone my cooking skills, and have a lot of fun life stories thanks to that.
So, would seem i am pretty content in life, well, no. I am really, really lonely (i have good friends that i spend a lot of time with, but you can be around people and still feel lonely i suppose), and that need for a romantic partner is just leaving a huge hole that i cannot fill with anything else.
Since my breakup, i had maybe 3 girls that you could consider i was in some sort of relationship with (Met on tinder, shortish flings that i broke off due to incompatibility for anything other than sex).
Now, to the issue at hand, my dating problem is that it is practically non existant! My friend circle is pretty closed, and other than a few girls, its basically a sausage fest, so meeting people 'the traditional way' never seemed to work.
Tinder never really worked for me, because: 1: first of all, being objective here: I'm not a good looking guy. I keep myself tidy, worked out a lot pre-covid (let myself go now, but i'm getting back on track), but it seems like i simply have 'one of those faces' or whatever, which makes it even harder now, since i gained weight.
2: I can hold a conversation with just about anyone, but tinder doesn't really work that way, since i simply do not get a lot of matches. And the ones i did either led to dissapointment or i got ghosted after chats that i really thought were going somewhere.
Note that bumble etc. Are not big in my country, its basically 100% tinder as far as online dating is concerned
And even in real life, i havent met many girls i can pursue, and to be honest, even if i did, i'd probably get friendzoned or stood up (didn't really happen yet as there is no one to be stood up by, other than one girl, that was objectively way out of my league).
So, what am i doing wrong, and why does it seem like i simply cannot find a date. I generally think that, for some reason, i am simply undetectable to girls on the dating radar. It's not like it just needs time, its been 3 years now and i'm still stuck at square one.
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