Some backstory here, I (28M) was seeing a girl (23F) for 3 weeks. We saw each other in person 6 times. We both had in our dating profile that we were not sure what we were looking for so I just took things as they were on our dates.
She was incredibly affectionate and brought that out in me as well. The second and third date were physically intimate. We spent time together then would hook up in the evening, spend time cuddling together, then she would leave soon after. These first couple of times together felt more like a hookup but I had already started developing some feelings.
The fourth date was different. She came over to my place again, I had made us dinner and a dessert. She was on her period so we had no plans for sex. She ended up spending roughly 8 hours with me, mostly just talking and cuddling and learning about each other with some kissing and teasing. This is when I was feeling quite attached. There was something about her that felt special to me. At this point, she was setting up the dates for us to get together and seemed very eager to spend more time together.
The fifth date I met her at her mom's for a hike, I brought her flowers and a treat. We had another amazing day together, went for dinner, and that's when I told her how I felt. I said I really enjoyed this, enjoyed spending time with her and I think she is special. That I get excited when I see her and that is just where I am at right now and that I was wondering where she is at right now. She told me she was feeling quite similar, she's very excited and also nervous to see me, she hasn't connected with someone like this in a long time. But that she wasn't ready for a relationship because of some trauma and baggage from past relationships. I assured her that was okay and I'm good to keep moving forward at a slow pace with what we currently have and she was very receptive to that and we kissed and hugged a bunch before she went back into her mom's place.
The last time I saw her was a couple days after. She was still on her period so no sex, but still another full day of just enjoying each other's company and learning about each other. She told me how she likes that I enjoy spending time with her, that other men in the past have just wanted sex from her and then would want her to leave. Later in the night, I was tickling her and she ended up having a panic attack from a sexual assault experience when she was younger. I gave her some space to come out of it, then we talked a bit afterwards about the panic attack. She reassured me it wasn't my fault, that she knows she's safe with me and that she fell into a negative feedback loop causing her to spiral. She left soon after that and went home. (It was 2am at the time so she would have left regardless)
We had a day schedule two days after that to see each other again but she cancelled saying she was having a bad mental health day which is understandable. I checked in with her later that day to see how she was doing and she opened up about her fear of relationships and fear of men, and some other things she was struggling with regarding not being where she wants to be mentally. I later asked if she wanted to get together sometime to talk about this stuff, I would be more than happy to, to which she responded we'll figure out a time to hangout next, she is just overwhelmed. I told her not a problem, to take care of herself and that I can give her some space and to let me know when she'd want to get together and she said thanks, I'll let you know. Now it's been a few days since hearing from her and I am feeling oddly heartbroken by this.
At this point, I am extremely torn. I have usually been the one to message first and set up the plans, but I have left the ball in her court. I haven't messaged her for 3 days now and I haven't heard from her in those 3 days. I know she's busy this weekend, but it's been hurting not hearing from her lately. She's never been good at text communication, but I'm unsure if I should break down and message her after the weekend is over, or if I should continue to wait on her. If I did reach out to her, what should I even say?
I am anxious because I haven't made a connection like this in a long time, if ever, everything felt like it was moving in a great direction until recently. I know I've built up a lot of the anxiety in my mind, but I'm afraid of losing the potential of what this could possibly be If we continue exploring each other and what this is.
TL:DR; Met a girl that I connected well with. We had 6 fantastic dates together, things felt like they were moving in a great direction. Then she cancelled recently, talked about her fear of relationships and men. I told her I'd give her space and to reach out to me when she's ready and I haven't heard from her since. Where do I go from here?
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