I M(27) have been dating a F(23) for 2 months (+1 month earlier we had a date). In that time things have gone really well things were progressing well and I went at her pace (she was recently out of a long term relationship). She invited me to a family wedding, along with some other things that showed she was interested.
We started acting more and more couple-y over time, and communication was good, we would text through the day but not ALL day. When we were busy it might take longer but on average comms would be good ( around 30mins to 1 hours between messages at longest, and usually quicker).
The last week I was matching what I perceived to be her pace but I got this a little wrong, we saw eachother every other day, and it was great. However at the end of the week on a date we were asking questions and one of them prompted her to say she would like to ask me if/when I last had slept with someone else, but she said she didnt want to know the answer (to me I think this shows you do want to know, because you wouldnt ask/if you really werent bothered you wouldn't care). I playfully teased her but then it showed me maybe we were on a different page. So I asked her where she was at
She said right now shes not ready for a relationship (she wants to not have to focus on someone else completely yet and work on herself first, completely fair), she also said the last week had been a little overwhelming and was taking away from time for her. I said this wasnt an issue, and would happily back off a little. I did however make it known I am not just looking for sex and ultimately at some point I'd like to know there is the chance of progression (if we are a good fit)
We both said we werent sleeping with anyone else, nor wanted to, but we never officially said. we were exclusively dating. After this convo it was left a bit raw, as it seemed we wanted different things, but I had to be clear with my boundaries and expectations. We went to sleep both thinking it was done. Howver in the morning she brought up not wanting it to end and I said I wanted the same, but reiterated for me I do want the POTENTIAL for something more. We both agreed and were happy with that.
This week however, communication started good but has now had huge gaps in replies, sometimes hours at a time (this could be part of backing off from her), but from where it was the week before and how much she was throwing relationship vibes at me, Ive found this change very mentally challenging as I've questioned where I stand.
How can I find a middle ground and voice to her without spooking her if we could find a nice middle ground with the comms again and have them be a little less dry? - Or would it be better to continue our dates and let this pick back up again naturally?
P.S. I am fully supporting of taking things slower, and at her pace. However at the same time the change has made me happy. Finding a happy middle ground would be ideal, and Im asking advice as I want to do this in a way that supports her needs too
TLDR - Texting was good however after a misunderstanding of where we both were at, texts have dried up vibe wise as well as much longer gaps between. How can I communicate this picking back up a little without it coming off too much? - Or would allowing natural progression be best?
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