Hi, its my first time doing this kind of confession, so even tho i have a lot of things on my mind i hope at least one of you will understand and maybe give me an advice. So im 23, and for 3 years now i don’t live in my country. Im still new to this place, and even with the language barrier i was still trying to find someone firstly to talk to and cure my loneliness, and then maybe try going on a date with someone interested, however i didn’t know its gonna be so hard. Ill be honest with yall back in my country I’ve dated some girls here and there, but i sadly never ever had a good opinion about myself, i often think like i don’t deserve this girls. So, finally 3 years later i started seeing this girl (and i want to say im a totally normal guy, playing it cool and not looking like a needy creep) she is the most beautiful thing i have ever seen, and i never even had a thought about doing something with her thats how low i am. (Like i said i have too many things on my mind so im gonna try to make this short now) So we went on a couple of dates and it was great, she asked me a couple of times how do i feel about this thing, if it can be serious and at the end didn’t wanted to kiss me just not to rush things. It took 3 dates more after that and we kissed, she jokingly said that she loved me but then she said sorry its way too fast for that, she is joking, we are texting, going out, and always saying that she loves talking to me loves the time with me even tho we just sit in dark places and just smoke cigarettes and do nothing, so long story short, on the other hand i was hurt so many times not to sound like a sad victim but its true, and i still cant process that we kissed we are together and everything she says about how lovely i am , (i love you eyes, your face), but its not touching me at all because i think she’s fucking with me even tho there is no reason for her to do that i still think that, she is way out of my league and i cant even open about things with her because i think she will just tell her friends or it will make me look like an idiot, and ill be honest im not ugly at all but i don’t think im attractive at all like i hope her love is not a joke but i cant feel that and i cant say this to her because ill hurt her feelings maybe, im so scared like i think i have nothing to offer her like im not enough for her, she will be bored and leave my ass like immediately, that’s how i feel i know some will find this stupid or funny, but it is what it is, i hope at least one of you will read this and maybe give me an advice. Stay safe and good night.
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