So, I'm 30-years-old, a virgin, never been on a date, MtF with slightly over 3 months on HRT (basically a guy's body with better skin), working on a PhD.
I've been crushing on a woman recently and while I'm kinda proud of actually admitting that to myself - I used to ignore any initial feelings of attraction - it also made me realize that I'm in no state to date because I always come back to "Why would she want someone like me?"
So how do I build some self-esteem when I feel deeply ashamed of my body and like I'm imposing when even considering the possibility that a woman who loves women might be into me?
(For illustration, recently a cis woman who hosts a local group for lesbian/bi women asked me if I was new in town because she had never seen me at one of their meetups. And even with this implicit invitation I'd never dare to go.)
All my therapist has to say is "don't be so hard on yourself" - which feels about on the level of "have you tried not being sad?"
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