I’m nearly 30F and haven’t been in a relationship that was more than 3 total dates in like a decade. One thing I’ve been getting absolutely constantly is the “oh I don’t see us together but we can be friends”. I wish these men would elaborate. I know they don’t want to be my friend. Often they’ll even say, “oh you’re so cool/funny/smart etc” but notably, apparently, unfuckable.
I am probably 6/10 on a good day and I don’t date out of my league. I often swipe left on men because they’re too attractive. But I do want to be attracted to the person I’d like to date. So I promise I am trying to be very realistic and “looks match”. Unfortunately I still get “I just want to be friends” by date 3. I have no idea what I’m doing wrong. I had adhd and sometimes dive into fun facts or whatever so maybe they just find me annoying? Like I went to a botanical garden and told the guy I was with how caterpillars turn into soup in their cocoons but somehow still maintain memories. But I felt the guy reciprocated and we ended up having a conversation about the plot of the original Dracula book after?
…yes ofc I got the “wow you’re like so smart…buuuut we should “just be friends”” text after. Am I supposed to just be batting my eyelashes during dates and finding out the most seductive way to sip from a straw? Giggle at the guys jokes and just shut the hell up? I’m so frustrated.
TL;DR: “cool” and “funny” but never fuckable—what do I do to fix this
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