TL;Dr: First sexual.encointer with someone = can't keep erection. But as I get more comfortable with the person, i.e. at the 2nd or 3rd encounter, I don't get that problem anymore.
This is kinda hard to explain in a short thread title.
So here goes.
I'm 26, male. And throughout my dating life, when I first get intimate with a partner I can't seem to maintain an erection. It feels like some kind of performance anxiety, mixed in with me not feeling 100% comfortable, mixed in with my mind being all over the place.
This has happened almost everytime I meet someone new. Sometimes the "initial" sexual encounter "fails" and I end up using my hands or going down on them. And later in the night for some reason my anxiety completely disappears and I'm as hard as diamond and we go at it again and all is good in the world.
Very rarely has my first sexual encounter gone smooth af. Most of the time it seems to take a few encounters with the same person (I'd say by the 3rd time I'm okay and all good).
Anyway, this doesn't truly bother me. I'm not a ONS kind of person. But it can be annoying having to explain this to every girl I date. Most end up crying because they think they aren't sexy (lol, but also understandable I guess). And some straight up don't believe me when I say I get performance anxiety and just think I don't find them hot.
I think I've only ever gotten intimate with one girl where the first time was flawless, she made me feel incredibly comfortable and was a big "giver".
Most of the other girls I have been with were like dead starfish. They expected me to do all the work, which didn't help the performance anxiety of the first time. And by the 2nd or 3rd encounter it's not an issue at all.
Does any other guy experience this? Feels like I'm alone in this or never see it discussed.
Anyway, cheers.
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