I (20M) met her (19F) in college. We are in the same course and have been friends for a month. We don’t text but we Snapchat a lot. I slowly became attracted to her, but I thought she only saw me as a friend. The snap convo was kinda dry as I had no idea how to flirt. I didn’t have the courage to ask her out Cus I’ve been coming up with stupid excuses in my mind. E.g. I’m Asian and she’s Caucasian so she might not be interested in me, we have similar height so I’m too short for her, I’m too skinny, I might ruin our friendship. Also, I’ve never been in a relationship and have only been rejected multiple times, I don’t wanna be rejected again.
3 days ago I built up the courage to try asking her out but before I could do that I got a snap from her. She’s in bed and covered herself up to the collar, showing naked shoulders. She said she’s staying overnight at a guy friend’s dorm room. I asked her the next morning what did she do with this “guy friend” and she said it’s none of my business (shit, I was nosy).
It’s all my fault. I’m stupid to fall for her. I’m stupid to not know how to flirt (I was raised in a conservative country before moving away. My strict parents want me to be as “well behaved as possible”). I should’ve asked her out earlier. I shouldn’t ask about her “fun night” as it’s none of my business. My logical mind is telling me to move on but my heart and emotions are still attached to her. As a person that has never been in a relationship before and kept on being rejected, I feel like I’m doomed to be single forever. I can’t focus on doing anything these days. I’m falling apart.
TLDR: I fell for a girl but I didn’t have the courage to ask her out. She hooked up with someone and I’m shattered. It’s all my fault. I feel like no one will ever love me.
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