Im 33M and she is 31F
So i started talking to this girl who added me on Facebook by mistake in June 2021, we started talking and we hit it off sweet,smooth and was filled cuteness, non stop txting and talking since day one, after 3 weeks of getting to know each other and knowing what we want we got attached via txting and snapchat, we share same morals and values etc we decided to meet up.
On the first night meeting her, while out on cruising around town, we parked up and went for a stroll, we ended up kissing, holding hands while driving and cuddling etc.
While we were parked up I received a video call from a girl mate who happened to be my sister in law’s friends, it was their first time catching up since they drifted apart and they thought to call me. The conversation was kind of awkward, This has made my girl/date feel anxious and raised a red flag in her books.
i reassured her there is and was nothing between me and that girl, my girl decided to give me the benefit of the doubt and go against her gut feeling, anyhow after two weeks she “found” some old fb posts on my page from 9 years ago, they were birthday wishes from the girl who video called me, calling me babe and hubby.
It broke my girl’s heart and we had a heated argument and once cooled off, i picked her up and reassured her it was one way and its from that girl and i got nothing for that girl. She felt some comfort and was happy again. After another week, she found a profile pic on my facebook with comments of me flirting back to that girl.
So we had another heated argument and we made up after that and she came out with me to my cousin’s bday dinner and we had a good time and we started rebuild that trust that i broke by lying about it( I totally forgot that i flirted or had a harmless flirtation with this girl years ago, there was no intimacy either not even a kiss).
So me and my girl started the dating again by going to dinners and movies, however our country went into lockdown in august due to delta case n the cases has flared up.
My girl starting losing confidence in us working out especially with lockdown, she started feeling distant and emotionally disconnected after the second week of lockdown.
The txting never stopped, I realized how strong my feelings were and i did fall for her quickly, we started having arguments, i became needy n clingy, she called it off and only lasted 8 hours before we started talking again and wanting to work it out, I showered her with love and gifts to comfort her and reassure her we will be fine. I was being positive and optimistic. Then i started getting jealous paranoid clingy and needy for her.
After few weeks she asked for a break and to work on ourselves and come back to see if we still us, i declined and explain how it wont work for me, so we continued and reassured her again, two weeks later I caught myself becoming toxic and asked for 3days no contact to get my act right, she didn’t nt agree it and i still went ahead with it, she blew up my phone on the first day, on the second day she called me early morning crying and thats when i broke down and comforted her and we talked it out and made it ok again and we started off again.
Covid restrictions eased up a lil bit at level 3 and we can expand our bubble, so we could meet up again, i tried to plan it with her few times and it didn’t dnt happen so i pretty much forced it and gave her and ultimatum, we ended up meeting up and i gave her a promise ring and an anklet to show my love for her and we spoke about our issues and what we need to focus on to make us work, she told me how loyal she is to me and how much feelings she have for me.
Few weeks later we had another episode and we broke up for 2 days and then started talking again cause we missed each other.
On the 6th November 2021 she called it off as she still hung up on that lie and she cant shift that feeling and she is tired of trying and having doubts about herself that she might not be able to come back from it, i accepted her decision and respected it. It broke me big time.
An hour after she called it off and no texting, she msged me asking what was the place called that i ordered her food from few days ago. I gave her the name etc.
Few hours later or probably next night she forwarded me a snapchat story of foodies and say sorry habit and we had a normal convo but i was more quit and short coz i was hurting.
Next night she asked if i wanted any of that gifts that i gave her back. I told her to keep it cause i got them for her out of my heart and love for her.
Then afternoon she forwarded me photos of a pair for air forces she liked and asked me if i like them, then continued saying sorry she will stop messaging me and shes being unintentionally insensitive, i replied with thumbs up and she thought i was being rude then she blocked me on WhatsApp, snapchat and fb messenger but not actual Facebook page.
On Wednesday 10th November I broke down and went into sad depressing buzz, and at a weak moment i texted her saying how much i miss her and how hard it is,
On Friday 12th November She unblocked and messaged me on WhatsApp and we spoke and had a conversation about us and how things were and how we could get back on track, i pointed out that we weren’t this bad before lockdown and i wasn’t needy clingy and always sulking before lockdown happened and started seeking for her attention more.
I told her about my plan on getting myself back on track such as get back to work and hang out with friends etc just like before lockdown happened and keep myself busy, she wasn’t opposed to that and she kind of agreed about a-lot of things i said.
I will attach screenshots of the conversation.
In my past relationships i have been cheated on multiple times and haven’t in a relationship for few years as I haven’t found the one, as i have trust issues.
In her past relationships her ex’s were toxic and cheated on her, she have social anxiety and possibly a minor depression, she is insecure about her weight and size, and the weight she gained during lockdown, shes an introvert as-well.
I cant seem to let her go and same from her side but we just cant find a middle ground for us. She cant shift these feelings, to the limit she started feeling uncomfortable to even hang out with me. I cant seem to give up and i know i have alot in my tank to fight for us and her.
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