My dating history is just ridiculously awful. I don't even know where to start.
I didn't date at all until relatively recently. I made it to my mid-20s with basically no experience at all -- not even sex or kissing. I had a few people interested in me before this, but they were very strange. I know that sounds extremely rude, and I don't mean that they were just a little eccentric or something. One of them was known around my high school for not bathing. Once, a teacher even had to open a window when he entered the classroom. He also spoke pretty much exclusively in the third person.
I had a girl interested in me when I was in college, but I was too nervous to do anything and she ended up finding somebody else.
A year or two ago, I met a guy online who had never really dated either and who was very open about his disdain of women. (He described himself as the i-word, but I can't type it out because the spam filter automatically removes any post that mentions it.) I was so desperate and depressed at the time that I agreed to be in an online relationship with him, which, as you can imagine, was completely disastrous. He ragged on women a lot to me, told me that they were stupid and disloyal.
Most recently, I've been going out to bars and trying to just get out more in general. I've had a bit of interest. I met a guy who seemed really nice, and I ended up having my first kiss with him. We got a motel room one night but he couldn't get hard (so I'm still a virgin...), and now I'm wondering if he may be gay or at least bi with a very, very strong preference for men. I know that alcohol can lead to difficulty getting erections, but he also goes to gay bars a lot and admitted to me that he's bottomed in the past. So I'm wondering if maybe I was just an experiment to him. He said in the morning that it might be best if we didn't see each other again, but now he's still texting me. I've also found out from Googling him that he lied to me about his age by 10 years. Not too reassuring. He also told me I was a bad kisser, which really hurt, though I guess it's to be expected because he was my first for that.
Sorry for all of the rambling. I'm just completely mixed up and clearly I'm doing something wrong. I get really good feedback on both my looks and my personality from people I know in real life and from people I've spoken to online. Pretty much everyone I know seems to be able to find nice partners. My siblings all have good relationships. I don't know what's wrong with me.
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