Title might seem like a clickbait, but I only realized I feel like this up until now, when I got the chance to see the situation clearly and I am really looking for an advice and genuine help.
I (24M) had a girlfriend (22F) and I was really happy in our relationship, despite both of us having mental health problems, we still managed to cope together, supporting each other. Some time later we both had the opportunity to study abroad, however different universities, caused us to being split away more and our mental health to deteriorate. It was mostly me that took the hit (at least that's how I felt like) and I felt like I could not handle being in relatiionship anymore, especially the way my girlfriend was suffering herself. Due to mental health reasons she had to go back to her home country and I stayed to study abroad further. I eventually decided to break up the relationship, me not being able to handle the long distance relationship on top of her problems which I felt like I could not solve (even though now I realise I can't solve them, but I could help my girlfriend). We did not talk for almost a year and recently we started talking again, but connecting our interests in gaming and just hearing her voice made me remind of all the happy times we had together. It did not help I was a bit drunk, I told her that I miss her. In reality I miss her so much and I feel like I would still want to be with her. She had to drop out of university and lives far away from where I study.
I want to tell her that I want to go back to how we were, but I feel like it would be the worst thing I could do after abandoning her when she needed me the most.
I guess it's important to mention we are both very introverted, so it's not like either of us looked for something new straight away.
I wrote this with heavy heart and I could miss some details, but I am really desperate and if there are any questions feel free to ask.
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