So, I [21M] met this girl [19F] on tinder. The conversation went really well, both regarding similar life interests/views and flirtatious stuff. In less than a week we scheduled a dinner date, and even though we had never met I was really confident she was looking to go home with me that night.
During the date everything also went smoothly, conversation flowed really really well and there was good escalation to the point that she did go home with me. There we had what I consider decent sex for the first time with a new partner (I'm not really experienced and have some insecurities regarding this, but it went well imo) and after that we hung out in bed talking. She had plans for the next morning (which is not an excuse to leave, it was 100% legit), so she didn't spend the night, which was not a big deal either way for me, so I didn't try to make her stay longer or anything like that.
At this point everything was good, but right now is the point where I feel like I start to get weaker responses:
- Before she left I made a comment about the good time we had and about meeting up again sometime, to which she responded positively but in a dubious tone, but that's fine, I still recognized this as a slightly positive sign.
- I also messaged her some minutes later to make sure she got home safely with her Uber, which I still think is a classy thing to do, and she responded saying she got home ok and a quick good night. That's still fine, considering she had things to do in the morning and it generaly doesn't make sense to extend the texting much at this point.
The next day I just don't text her and we don't speak at all. I actually think that's a good thing, because we still just met for the first time and had been talking everyday for almost a week, so giving it some time to breathe after the first date is fine imo.
- The next morning I send her a basic text asking what's up looking to start a conversation in order to eventually schedule another date. Now, this time, she doesn't respond. Actually, she didn't even read the message, but I'm aware she's with her cell phone all the time and chose to ignore the text.
Now I'm writing this post, over 10 hours have passed and I still got no response. I know it sounds like a small amount of time, but I can tell I'm being ghosted just because in our entire interaction she never took that long to respond and she is glued to her phone.
I thought about how to react to this, considered sending a text acknowledging the fact that I had been ignored and making a joke and some kind of good guy closing statement that she didn't necessarily had to respond to, but ultimately what I decided to do was to just to say nothing else at all and just leave it as it was, my logic being that I wasn't going to increase my chances by saying anything or chasing further. Right now the ball is on her court, she still has a natural way of responding to me if she wants to and in my opinion I still look like an aware, direct, non-pushy and cordial guy in this story.
In which point in this narrative did something go so poorly to the point of the girl deciding to ghost me?
If it was a problem in the texting, she wouldn't have gone out in the first place. If it was a problem in the first encounter, she wouldn't have gone home with me. If it was a problem during sex, she probably would have been ashamed and would have wanted to leave in a rush, but she still stayed there comfortably talking about all sorts of things. Maybe she didn't feel like I valued her that much because of the willingness to let her go and because of not texting the next day, but I feel like verbalizing I wanted to see her again, asking if she got home ok and sending that last message that was left unread should be enough indication that I'm definitely interested.
So, where did this date go wrong? Should I still chase more or just let it be?
edit: spelling and formating
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