Hi all. A bit about me: I'm a 31 year old female who hasn't dated anyone since college, and never for longer than three months. I have a laundry list of excuses for that fact, including that I've lived on three different continents in the last 9 years. Independence has lead to some incredible, empowering, exhilarating experiences. My dating confidence, however, is in complete shambles.
I went on a few (3) dates with a guy I met at a mutual friends' wedding in 2015. We talked online every once and awhile when I was studying in the UK and, on our last date, I finally worked up the courage to ask if he would ever consider moving abroad. His instant "No, never" response put an end to that pretty quickly. Fast forward to five years later and I haven't dated anyone else. Two random hookups when extremely drunk, but sober? Never. A combination of a lack of experience, body confidence, and general fear. Two years of therapy didn't help much in this department even though the subject came up many times.
I have trouble recognizing when I like someone, and when I do, I barely have the ability to admit it to myself let alone my friends or (gasp) the guy. When friends tell me that guys are hitting on me/flirting with me/looking at me in an appreciative way, I either think that a) my friends must be wrong or b) the guy is a player and I happened to be in his line of sight.
How can I shift my thinking? How can I learn to accept that someone is interested in me romantically? I'm beginning to lose hope in my ability to get over this irrational fear of dating. I want to find happiness in a loving relationship. I've spent so much time with myself and with my amazing friends and family, but romance is a terrifying mystery to me. My loved ones tell me I just have to rip off the bandaid and put myself out there. But here I am.
[link] [comments]
from Dating Advice https://ift.tt/3mSUPlj
via IFTTT
No comments:
Post a Comment