Girl wants to hangout soon... but has a boyfriend? How should I proceed? - ATX News Paper

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Wednesday, September 30, 2020

Girl wants to hangout soon... but has a boyfriend? How should I proceed?

Here's the recent conversation I had with a co-worker/female interest. We've flirted in the past and have been friends for a while now, about two years. One day I said "screw it" and decided to shoot my shot, because there has always been some flirty/sexual chemistry between us.

Me: How are your university classes coming along?

Her: Good! I'm taking <insert class names here>

Me: Oh, those sound interesting. Why don't we discuss them over a drink or hangout sometime soon?

Her: Yeah, that would be great! What happened to your girlfriend?

Me: Oh, we broke up a while ago. I wanted to keep my options open and she just wasn't for me in the long run... and I've always thought you were pretty cute.

Her: Thats fair... but I have a boyfriend (awkward emoji). I just don't normally advertise it.

Me: True! Well it was worth a shot lol.

Her: I'm flattered, but pro-tip, don't ask out coworkers lol.

Me: Yeah, it's against my rule normally, but like I said, I thought you were cute.

Her: Well I'm still down to grab drinks 1 on 1, AS FRIENDS, during the next reading week when I'm free from work and school if its not weird for you :)

Me: Sounds good, we'll plan something in the future then!

Her: Gotta make dinner, we'll definitely plan something soon! Ttyl :)

Honestly people, I'm not expecting anything big here, and I'm probably reading too much into this. Took my shot and was rejected. I have self-confidence and I'm not devastated over this by any means. I'm honestly just kind of confused. If I was still in a relationship, I would not want my girlfriend having 1 on 1 drinks with another guy, even if they were co-workers... you can call me controlling or whatnot, but I've been around long enough to know that it's usually not a good thing. And as I mentioned above, we've been flirting and there's been some chemistry between us that's developed over the last few years. So my questions for you are:

Is she,

  1. Into me and testing the waters? Maybe perhaps make me one of her orbiters or a back-up plan for her current boyfriend?
  2. Genuinely just wants to be friends?
  3. Something else?

Like I mentioned, we've been friends/co-workers for two years now. Small crush, nothing crazy. Just want your thoughts and opinions. I'm not looking to be a simp and turn into her doormat. If she wants to just remain friends that's fine, but I don't normally grab drinks 1 on 1 with a female friend.... lol. I'm also perfectly fine with acting like this conversation never happened and having things go back to normal between us.

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