When should a date disclose they have HSV-1 (oral herpes)? - ATX News Paper

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Saturday, April 15, 2023

When should a date disclose they have HSV-1 (oral herpes)?

So I went on a few dates with this guy. He’s 37 and I’m 32. The first date went really well. We had a lot of good laughs, watched some ducks at the local pond, and got some tea. We agreed to hang out again and promptly scheduled a second date.

Date two went as well as date one. We got dinner, shared a drink, saw a movie, and hung out at the park after dark. After chatting for a while, I moved in to kiss him. He grabbed me and we started making out. After a few minutes, he broke off and said, “So, I need to tell you that I’m having issues below the belt and getting it checked out. But more importantly, I have HSV-1 on my genitals. I don’t think I can spread it by kissing but I wanted to let you know.”

Pretty quickly after, I said I needed to go home and went home. After doing some research on HSV-1, I’m pretty spooked. I recently tested negative on a full STI panel and had some cysts on my groin area that tested negative for HSV-1 and 2. So I texted him back saying I’m a little upset that he didn’t disclose thus information prior to drink sharing and making out. I said that because those things are physical, that I should have been told about his health status prior to doing anything physical with one another.

He seemed shocked that I was upset and said that I need to be better educated on HSV-1 because it isn’t that bad. I did mention that I am very concerned what is happening below the belt and was shocked he didn’t try to get the issue resolved before dating. According to him, he’s been dealing with “mild discomfort for months”.

Is this a red flag? I really liked him but something doesn’t seem right…

submitted by /u/throwRA2B
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