And now I'm feeling bad for it.
I have this girl (let's call her Ana). Ana is amazing. We do go out ocasionally, get a few drinks, have sex, and always carried a good relationship being that way.
She does suffer from a couple of situations (has problems with her family and also has depression). I always stated that I'm here for her, and that she can count with me any time she needs me (and I say that from the bottom of my heart, she really can).
Today is her birthday. I do remembered. Texted her a message wishing her all the best and all the happiness in the world. She thanked me.
Later on she texted me again, saying that she was expecting me a bigger support from myself. She recently have a problem with her dog. The dog underwent a surgery for cancer. And she was expecting me to be a little bit more supportive for her, after all what I've said to her (about being there when she needed me), and because she wasn't feeling comfortable with that situation, and because she didn't wanted to disturb me (I'm actually pretty busy during regular days, due to work, freelancing and university), she was going to take a step back from me, because she didn't want to disturb me, and that she was feeling like she was disturbing me.
I obviously didn't push her. Said that I was sorry, that this was up to me because I've created expectations on her. And that my problem is that even though I say that I'll be there for anytime she needs me (and I do say that. You can count one me, I'm really glad to help you!), the problem was that I wasn't going to realize she was needing help unless she's strictly obvious and explicit like saying: "I need your help with THIS and THAT".
After thinking about the situation, I've came across the realization on how I'm actually insensitive on how to detect emotions of the one's I care. I genuinely want to help when I can. I definitely want my friends to count on me when they need me. But unfortunately realizing that they need me without they specifically saying that they need me, is a skill far beyond my skillset.
I'm actually feeling pretty bad right now about the perception that I'm a really difficult person to pick up emotions. It made me realize that I can actually let a lot of people down, when they need me.
TL;DR: a friend of mine said she's taking a step back from me because she didn't felt comfortable about how I was not supportive on her when I said she could count on me. Her take on the situation was that I was not supportive when she needed, and she was taking a step back because she felt that she was somehow she could disturb me eventually, and she didn't want that. My take on this is that I won't know people need help until they specifically ask to me for help. And now I'm feeling bad because I'm feeling like a very insensitive person.
[link] [comments]
from Dating Advice https://ift.tt/2QLUTVa
via IFTTT
No comments:
Post a Comment