So I dated a guy for a bit, my first time dating outside of a long term relationship (almost 8 year relationship, which truly I’m still not entirely over), a guy I met on Tinder. I told him from the start that I wasn’t sure what I wanted, just wanted to meet new people and have new experiences. However, it did eventually turn romantic at times.. He was very much into me from the start, however during our time dating, I was very back and forth on my feelings. I even had kinda ended things with him once early on, and he told me he fell in love with me (this was maybeee around a month after we started talking?). I gave it more chances, but still was very back and forth about things. I admit, there were things I definitely didn’t handle very well, and that’s on me. Long story short, I ended up telling him I just wanted friendship. That was hard, and he said he wanted some space, which I felt was good. To give context, we started talking in September, and I told him I wanted just friendship at the end of November.
However, we kinda continued texting, and I wasn’t sure how to navigate this. I wanted to be a good friend, but I also was having reservations and feeling like I wanted to pull back. We hung not too long ago, and now I’m really having reservations about even being his friend. He still has complicated feelings for me it would seem, through the jokes and comments he makes. And there’s a lot of things that I just feel uncomfortable with or feel like we aren’t compatible on, even as friends. He keeps wanting to hang out, and I just really don’t want to.
I was considering the slow ghost method (just gradually message less, be unavailable, etc), but started to feel very guilty about that and the last thing I want to do is hurt him. I feel like the only way to move forward is to basically tell him I want space from the friendship as well, but I really don’t know how to navigate this.
Am I wrong for wanting to end things? How does anyone navigate this? It kinda makes me feel scared to ever date anyone again moving forward if it is going to be this complicated. I’ve been feeling very anxious about it all, and I worry I’m being a bad person.
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