I (M20) am dating this girl (F19). Most of the time we have a great relationship we laugh, joke, talk about random stuff, and genuinely enjoy being around each other.
But the second the topic of her parents comes up, it turns into Niagara Falls.
She has a lot of anger and hurt toward them, and when she starts talking about it, it becomes: • long venting sessions • heavy emotions • repeating the same things over and over • me trying to comfort her, reassure her, listen, etc.
I’ve tried everything, validating, listening, not fixing, giving advice, not giving advice, telling her I care, reminding her it’ll be okay and nothing actually changes. I just end up exhausted and overwhelmed.
She’s not mad at me, and we’re not fighting. But I feel like I’ve become her main emotional dumping ground, and I’m starting to burn out.
I don’t want to be cold or unsupportive, and I definitely don’t want to stop dating her but I also don’t want a relationship where every other conversation becomes super heavy and I’m constantly in “therapist mode.”
How do I set healthy boundaries here without hurting her or making her feel like I don’t care?
Has anyone dealt with something like this? What worked for you?
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