Is he giving me space or did I ruin it by being too open? - ATX News Paper

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Tuesday, July 2, 2019

Is he giving me space or did I ruin it by being too open?

My (F35) mom passed away on July 2nd of last year and I stopped dating and to been work on healing and figuring out who I am without her.

So I was lonely last week and downloaded Tinder. I matched with this guy (M35) from Ireland and we texted all day for a few days (initiated by him) and he was really into me. He said he is looking for a relationship and I said I’m not sure if I’m looking for one but I’m open to it if things go well with someone. I told him I haven’t really been dating since my mom passed last year and today was exactly one year from when she passed. We opened up about a few heavy things that have happened in our lives. He confided in me that he left Ireland after finding his brother who committed suicide.

We went out Saturday night and we had a fabulous time and the chemistry was on fire. We couldn’t stop touching each other in little ways.,When he left, we said we wanted to see each other again but didn’t make plans. We chatted all day Sunday beginning with a good morning text from him. My birthday was yesterday and he wished me Happy Birthday first thing in the morning and asked again if I had plans. I’ve really started to value my alone time, perhaps too much, and I told him I was going to go to my favorite spot in the woods alone and swim and meditate and do my thing. He has his 5 year old daughter until Wednesday so I’m pretty sure he wasn’t asking me to hang out with him.

When I got back from the woods I was super emotional about my mom and feeling very alone and a bit anxious. I started to worry we hadn’t made plans to see each other again and I asked him if he wanted to go to a 4th of July party with me. He said he would like to but he already committed to swimming at his friend’s house. A little while later, I told him I was having a hard time dealing with my mom’s passing. He was super empathetic and invited me over if I needed company. I politely declined telling him I’m an ugly cryer. He checked in about an hour later asking how I was doing and after telling him I was just getting it all out ugly crying he said good and I didn’t hear from him again, including this morning. So around noon I was feeling really embarrassed and sent him a text apologizing for being emotional last night. He said I have no reason to apologize, he understands and it’s only been a year so it’s still fresh. He told me to chill today and do what I need to do for me and I haven’t heard from him since.

Is he just being nice and giving me space, or did I mess this one up too by opening up too fast. Did I come off as needy?

I realize I might be sublimating my pain by worrying about something that is easier to deal with.

submitted by /u/NamasteHealthy1111
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