TLDR: I went on a really great date, the idea that he would not text me back never crossed my mind at all (he seemed really interested and not like someone to ghost), he ghosted me ( its been 1 week), I still keep thinking about him and want to text him again. I would 100% be ok with just going out as friends, I really need someone to talk to in person rn. How do I approach texting him/ is it a waste of time/ if it is how do I stop thinking about it?
I dont date much at all, I have never been in a relationship. I talk to a decent amount of guys, I do get attention but it makes me nervous so I never pursue much. Intimacy scares me a little and I often find it very hard to imagine being intimate with people that I have tried to get to know. So, this year none of my friends returned to university and I have been feeling very alone and very emotional with not many people to go out with/talk to. I really need to go out a decent amount to feel like myself. I got back on Tinder to try and find someone to go out with, I am looking for a serious relationship but also really just want someone to talk to at the moment. I'm used to having a large group of close friends, but it's so hard to meet new people with classes online.
So I went on a date last week, I was not optimistic at all and thought it would just be awkward and difficult to get into. But it was actually really great. The guy was really cool we had a lot in common and talked about so many things. It was one of the best nights out in a good while and made me think the next couple of months could actually be really great. We did talk about going out again, and I was honestly really excited to get to talk to him again. He made me feel really comfortable the entire night, we did not talk about anything deep but I felt like I could if that's where the subject went. There was never any weirdness, the conversation always flowed and he seemed very interested. I'm usually pretty good at telling when someone is not interested, at the very least I get a feeling, but I only got great feelings from this guy. We did end the night earlier than I would have liked ( we were still out for about 2 1/2 hours), he really wanted to go into a bar and kept suggesting places, but I did not feel like drinking and dint feel comfortable drinking on a first night out with someone. So it did end pretty suddenly, he suggested it and we did not properly say bye we just both went out separately, I said I would text him.
So I texted him to go out later that week, it's been about 5 days since then with no response, he also unmated me on tinder ( but we were always talking through text, not tinder). I'm pretty confident he ghosted me, but there's a part of me that really wants him to have lost his phone or something and text me back. I was pretty upset, I haven't really liked any guys much in the past couple years, and I just felt awful and stupid for not understanding why he did not want to go out again. I was also just having a really emotional week regardless, so that did not help. I sent him a polite text telling him I did not appreciate being ghosted just to give closure to myself, I thought that it would be easier to forget about it and stop thinking he could still text me. I did feel a lot better after, and it did kind of give me closure to the entire night.
So the real issue now is, I have been on 2 other tinder dates, and honestly, I just keep thinking about talking to this guy and how well we got along. I know the right answer is to delete his number and forget about him, but I really don't want to. I'm not someone to get attached easily or get hung up on a guy, so I'm not really sure where to go from here. It's only been a week but I don't know why I'm still thinking about it this much, I really want to see him again and have a strong urge to text him (mostly later at night when I want to be out but am in at home.) What should I do? If I text him is there zero chance he will reply? could he have lost his phone lol? I would be ok just being friends too if it meant we could just go out and talk and have a good time. I'm not going to throw myself at someone who is not interested and I know I will come across bad if I text him again but if there is a chance to go out again (As friends or more) then I don't really care. Also really thank you for listening. Realistically I probably won't text him again but sometimes emotions get the best of me so idk what I'm gonna do.
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