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Saturday, September 19, 2020

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Why is girl uncomfortable around me

Why does this girl feel uncomfortable around me

Ill try to keep this brief: I work as a pharmacist in one of the major chains and there is a tech who is the same age as me. After getting to know her for about a year she grew on me and I started to become interested in her. She often acts nervous and fidgety/shy around me and I wondered if this might be because she was also interested. She also did some things that I thought might convey this but was hard to tell: one morning it was just us two working and she showed up with her hair newly dyed and had brought me coffee. I assumed she was just being kind. In general she is just nervous around me and often avoids eye contact with me, even though I am nice to her and give her plenty of space. Sometimes she would initiate a conversation though, by talking about whatever she was looking at on the computer in such a way that invited me to come and look at it with her. One evening it was just the two of us working and I asked her if she was dating a guy I had seen her with a couple of times and she said no. Afterward she was extra talkative with me and asking me to help her with stuff, had very open body language, although she still seemed nervous. I wasnt planning on asking her out because i wasnt really sure if it was appropriate since we are coworkers, but when her shift ended she was stalling and looking at her phone while standing near me, and I was wondering why she seemed to be sticking around as she usually leaves on the dot. So i thought she might be wanting me to ask her out. I asked if she was doing anything this weekend and she said she had no plans, so I asked if she wanted to do something this weekend, I said we could get coffee and she replied “I like coffee” so we exchanged numbers and I told her I would text her. Well I did text her the next day suggesting a time and place and she didnt reply at all until near the end of the weekend, saying she went out of town with some friends and it was unplanned. I just texted back no worries, sounds fun. When she came in to work on Monday she seemed super nervous and avoiding me. Later that evening it was just us again and I didnt want uncomfortable silence so I asked her about her weekend. So I asked her, just looking for some honesty and clarity, if she was not actually interested in going on a date after all, and she replied saying she was an extremely busy person at the moment (she is a single mom). So i figured that was her (kind of confusing) way of letting me down easy, which was fine, I appreciate her trying to be nice. Problem is now I am over it and just want to have relaxed vibes but ever since then she seems extra uncomfortable around me all the time. I feel like some awful person based on this but am not aware of doing anything mean or offensive or creepy. i was totally respectful of the fact that she wasnt interested. Is there something I can do to alleviate the situation? Despite her being a little nervous around me before, she was at least really friendly. Now she seems more nervous and distant. Lastly, she does have anxiety and depression, wont say much more about that even though this is totally anonymous. Any advice on how to mend things?

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