How do you make it clear that you aren't ready for a relationship? - ATX News Paper

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Friday, February 25, 2022

How do you make it clear that you aren't ready for a relationship?

A little over a month ago, I 29F split with my boyfriend 34M of 3 and a half years. We both knew it was coming and even though it was really sad, we just realised we wanted different things and were no longer compatible and parted ways amicably.

A guy I was at uni with, Mike 32M, has recently noticed I'm single and has started messaging me. Now mike and I have a little bit of history in that whenever we would both be single, we would exchange an occasional dirty message and flirt, but nothing ever actually came of it. We met up on one occasion but it was really awkward and nothing happened, even though at the time I wanted to. I tried making a move and he didn't seem interested so yeah, I stopped.

The conversation has been friendly so far with a tiny bit of flirting from both of us but nothing much. Weve hung out twice and again, nothing has happened and I haven't pushed it. Its felt like two old classmates hanging out and catching up, not even an awkward hug goodbye. But I feel like the dynamic is different this time and he wants to do things like chatting on the phone and sending me good morning messages. In person, it's like we are friends but over messages I feel like he wants more and honestly, I dont think I want a relationship. He has always been a bit of a player and previously, we had an understanding that if anything happened that it would be a no-strings situation. Right now, I feel that that's all I can commit to, I want time to get over my ex and explore who I am without being someone's girlfriend. I may be hugely over thinking all of this. We haven't had a conversation about what we are actually looking for and I honestly dont know how to bring it up. I want to do so before anything remotely physical happens between us because I dont want to lead him on. Any advice would be appreciated, thanks 😊

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