Dating someone who is 100% sober by choice.. why am I struggling so hard with this. I've been dating someone for almost a year now who is amazing to me and my kids, my family adores him... but he has always been "straight edge" by choice, which I truly admire and respect about him. It was almost like a premonition that he never drank because he ended up with a genetic liver failure and got a transplant 5 years ago. But as someone who enjoys drinking casually and enjoys the occasional mild psychedelic experience as it has been truly mind opening and healing for me, I am having trouble feeling like we are not on the same page lifestyle wise. We broke up recently because of some of these incompatibles, another one being fitness. I love going to the gym and health is important to me (sounds paradoxical when he is the straight edge one) and he has never really set foot in a gym. We recently got back together and have a beautiful connection and respect for one another but again I'm finding myself fixating on these differences. I went through a really rough divorce years ago so I definitely look for reasons it wont work to avoid going through that again. He tells me he wants to start going to the gym with me and would even do a little mushroom trip with me but I'd feel bad even letting him like he feels pressured to be who he's not to not lose me which isn't okay. He denies this, he insists that he wants to open his mind to new things but I know him.. he had a rough childhood and living this rigid lifestyle has given him the structure he craved as a child. I RESPECT that. We're 35 & 39. Do I get over it that a mature relationship sometimes includes lifestyle differences and respect that, or will this eventually erode our connection. I've been single for 7 years now and have dated enough that I realize finding someone good like this is rare and its never going to be perfect but I don't see myself ever changing who I am and I feel I will always crave someone I can do these things with for fun. I feel stupid for even feeling this way.
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