So, we were dating for some time, we broke up but after a couple of months continued having sex. Since there weren't the limitations of a serious relationship anymore, she opened up a lot about her kinks, and we've been doing a lot of stuff that wasn't present before. As she told me, it was because before she thought that it could scare me from wanting to be her boyfriend, so she was shy about a lot of things. But since now we're just having sex and aiming at pleasure alone, she can show me (and it doesn't matter if I get scared, I suppose lmao).
Since then, we've been having "dates" (we hang around a lot in general, not just to have sex). She keeps staying at my place, and we have sex each time we end up alone. The chemistry has increased a lot. We kinda are a couple yet again, because we see each other every weekend to go out or because she comes to have dinner and watch movies. Last time, she told me that she was seeing someone else but that decided to drop that because she liked what we have. I said that I felt the same, and then she asked me if we could start being exclusive.
I haven't answered yet, I said that I had to think about it. And I feel like an idiot, because we already are a couple lmao. Like, we do everything that a couple does, it's just the tag that's missing. But even then, I feel... Strange. I feel like I want to be with her, but at the same time I don't know if she's the one, and something in me wants to keep open to the possibility of finding that the one if she isn't. Like, I fear getting into a relationship and realizing that I'm not in love, but for it to be too late to return. Like, I don't want to miss "true love" if this isn't it and I end up finding it somewhere else. I don't want to hurt her, neither
Does this make any sense? I don't even have anyone else. I dated other people since we started being just fwb, but nothing lead anywhere. I don't know from where this feeling comes from, nor if it makes sense or if is it just me being a doushe that wants to keep messing around instead of being serious
I feel like I could be missing an amazing oportunity to be with someone that makes me feel great, when I don't even know the exact reason to why I even doubt
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