My boyfriend lets call him Steven. We’ve been dating for 2 years and about a 7 months into our relationship his cousins best friend (let’s call her Johanna) kept coming around to hang out with the 4 of us. I could tell Johanna had a crush on my boyfriend but never wanted to admit it. And I thought there’s no way Steven would leave me for her. Well, I was wrong. When Steven’s cousin went away to study abroad, Johanna felt very lonely. So she would hang out with Steven and I quite often. To the point where she would just show up to hang out without contacting us first.
While Steven’s cousin was away she thought it would be a good idea to surprise him to redecorate his office at his house. And asked Steven if he wanted to help. And because that was his cousin he said of course he’d help. Once I heard about this, I asked why I wasn’t invited to help since I’m his girlfriend and I felt like his family is my family. The response I got from Steven was there wasn’t enough room and it only really needs 2 people to help. I felt a little upset about it and thought ok it’s not that big of a deal. Turns out, I was wrong. For the first week they were “working” on the office, I heard from Steven less and less. He said he was tired from working and working on the office. I said ok, but deep down inside I knew something was wrong. Now after a week of little to no contact, I didn’t hear from him at all. I would text and call him and I would get no response. I finally reached out and asked if everything was ok and if we were still ok? That’s when I get a message from him telling me that he needed to work on himself and he couldn’t be bothered with a relationship right now. He also told me I was starting to get my life together and I should work on myself. I was very heartbroken! But I could stop myself from texting him and telling him how much I missed and loved him and that we could make it worked. I asked him if it had anything to do with Johanna because they have been alone together for weeks. And he reassured me she had nothing to do with it and that he wasn’t trying to sleep with anyone else.
Come to find out a few days later, they went out for her birthday and they ended up sleeping together in his bed. But he told me that she slept on one end of the bed and he slept on the other. I didn’t care how they slept. I knew they had sex that night.. it killed me inside but he still denied it. And said that they were both really drunk and ended up sleeping in the same bed. My question was, why wouldn’t he have her sleep on the couch? Why would they go his room if “sleeping” together wasn’t on their minds? Or his mind...
About a couple weeks later, We start talking again and we both realized how much we need each other and how we bring out the best in each other. So we get back together. Now to the present time...
We are back together, Johanna moves to Texas and pretends to be happy for us. But she constantly texts my boyfriend. She will text him the most random and absurd things and my boyfriend will respond immediately and talk her out of her current anxiety attack. I do not trust Johanna one bit. She has spoken poorly about me in the past and continues to do so with Steven’s cousin. She will say crazy things like how she is jealous that I am so skinny and my boy friend will say things like don’t be jealous. Skinny people have health problems too. I just don’t get it. I know this sounds silly but she will text him about her sex life and her current relationships and her online dating fails. I just don’t understand why he cares so much about this girl Johanna. One more thing, When my boyfriend and I go away once a month to our Cabin in Colorado she will text him everyday and she knows we’re alone and trying to have a romantic get away. She will say things like she misses the snow in Colorado and wants him to send pictures to her.
How do I politely ask this woman not text him anymore. And how do I tell her how inappropriate the conversations she tries to have with him are?
How do I get over this jealousy of her... she’s in a Texas now. Not in Colorado anymore but I feel like she’s here because of how often my boyfriends phone gets bombarded with her text messages?
TL;DR: Johanna [33 F] is still infatuated with my boyfriend [34 M] and won’t stop contacting him.
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