Rejected after 4 dates out of nowhere. What went wrong? - ATX News Paper

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Saturday, July 23, 2022

Rejected after 4 dates out of nowhere. What went wrong?

I (27F) have been dating this guy from hinge (29M) for a little over a month and we were well on our way to our 5th date.

We hit it off right away. He did everything right and never made me doubt he was interested/liked me. He took initiative, paid for every date, always opened my car door, made a genuine effort to get to know me, texted everyday, etc. Conversation wise, it was really easy to talk, we’re both sarcastic and made each other laugh. We talked about religion and our personal beliefs but we didn’t have really any other deep talks past that yet. I was under the impression we were taking our time and would eventually get to all of that (lol I was wrong).

There were a few small bumps. I.e.: one time he didn’t text me for 2 days (said he was sick) but it didn’t bother me much bc it was very early on and another time he canceled last minute for our 3rd date because he was busy with work/friend commitments, but made an effort to reschedule. Other than that, everything was great and no red flags. Also maybe worth mentioning we hooked up after 3rd and 4th dates (no sex though) and the physical connection was definitely there. He even asked if I wanted to stay the night after the 3rd date and he made me feel super comfortable - got me a toothbrush, put a glass of water next to my side of the bed, etc.

He would tell his friends about me/about our dates and after our 4th date, he told me he wanted to do a double date because they wanted to meet me. He suggested a day that next weekend, but I was busy but let him know I wanted to find another time that worked.

After telling him I would be busy that Saturday and couldn’t do the double date, we made tentative plans to hang on Sunday. Sunday comes and I ask him what’s the plan. He didn’t remember we were supposed to hang out that day and didn’t text me back for 7 hours. He didn’t apologize but said essentially something along the lines of “maybe we can do something tomorrow”. I sent him a message saying “I thought we had plans and was looking forward to it so that kinda sucked”. He ghosted for 2 days and finally sent me a long text apologizing for his behavior, saying he had a lot going on and realized dating/relationship priorities were being pushed down and how it was unfair to me and didn’t want to hurt me. He ended the text saying he just can’t give me the 110% that he wants to right now or for the foreseeable future. The last two words is what got me bc I interpret that as the door is completely shut.

I’m extremely hurt as i did not see this coming whatsoever and really thought this was going somewhere. I’ve been fighting the urge to double text (I won’t do it). I guess I’m just wondering where things went wrong, how to get over this feeling, really any advice, thoughts, stories if you’ve been in a similar situation, etc.

TLDR: feeling extremely hurt after getting rejected out of nowhere by a guy I’ve been seeing for 1.5 months and thought it had the potential of going somewhere.

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