I wasn’t going to post this but I think that it might give some insight even just a tiny bit into why some men leave after sex. Im not an expert by any means but I am a biology enthusiast going for her doctorate now so I’ve studied this a little bit enough to post this information here which might give some insight.
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TLDR: When a man and woman have sex, oxytocin is released. Women feel this “love hormone” and men don’t because their high level of testosterone blocks it. A mans vasopressin (lust and attraction hormone) also drops after sex.
This hormone allows women to feel closer and good about her relationship with the man. Whereas the man hasn’t felt that at all, and due to the dropped vasopressin and not feeling oxytocin, he will move on to spread his seed.
Only when a man has true feelings for a woman and he makes the decision to commit/be vulnerable with her, his testosterone drops enough to feel oxytocin. This is when the man and woman both feel oxytocin and bond and both make love. Oxytocin gives feelings of trust, love, etc.
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Longer Version
This is the cuddle hormone and for women it sky rockets during sex.This hormone comes out when a woman is giving birth and having sex etc. it makes the woman feel bonded to the man and more trusting and closer to him (and her baby during pregnancy).
The high level of testosterone in men blocks the effects of oxytocin. He does not feel those same effects of a closer bond with the woman (there are exceptions, more on them later).
In fact, vasopressin in men builds as he feels sexual attraction for a woman like when dating seeing her etc (lust). But immediately after sex vasopressin in a man drops. And testosterone blocks oxytocin.
So therefore after sex, the woman is feeling closer to the man and good about the relationship.
Whereas a mans vasopressin has dropped and he hasn’t felt the oxytocin at all. Due to biology, if he doesn’t have feelings for the woman, it is in his nature to spread his seed.
HOWEVER, THIS IS THE EXCEPTION: when a man HAS FEELINGS for and LOVES a woman and decides he wants to commit to her in his mind, his testosterone levels DROP as he lets his guard down and makes the decision to be vulnerable, allowing him to feel the same in love feelings of oxytocin as the woman does.
Due to the lowered level of testosterone, oxytocin is now able to work and that is when a man is able to make love to the woman and feel all of the love hormone.
Please feel free to google this yourself. I’m not an expert but I’m a science major who love studying hormones. I just hope this can give both men and women a little bit more of a fun fact into their brain chemistry.
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Disclaimer: I’m not saying one night stands or hooking up is bad or good. Everyone has their choice to do whatever. But this is a scientific view of what happens in the female brain and male brain since I’ve seen many posts about women wondering why the man only wanted sex and everything was fine before sex etc. I understand that every case with every person is varying and I’m all for everyone’s personal choices of course :)
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