This is going to be a long post, so reader beware!!
I've (30M) always had a crush on this girl (32F) the minute I ever saw her and knew she was the perfect girl for me, but the problem was she had a boyfriend, and he was intimidating, so I never really spoke to her much, just a few chats here and there, even though we had some mutual friends between us. I'm sure at the time, she knew I liked her, and I'm also sure her boyfriend knew I liked her. The years went by, I maybe saw her once or twice a year, started seeing other girls, but in the back of my mind I always wished I was with this girl
Fast forward to this year, I found out she broke up with her boyfriend a few months ago, and thanks to some great mutual friends, I was able to connect with again. I had recently came from a trip to America, so I bought her a gift and when I came back, I had asked her out for a drink, also so I could give her a gift.
I'm not sure whether to call this an actual date or not, but for the sake of the story, let's say its a date. So we go out for coffee, and I thought it was pretty great, we found out more about each other, had a lot of similarities and viewpoints and we had fun, she talked about how her parents try to set her up with guys etc, I told her some secrets of my own, and this went for about 2.5 hours. Before we left, I had asked did she want to meet again and she said yep, so we scheduled our second meeting the next week. I didn't give her any hug or kiss, for fear of coming across as too forward
We texted a little bit in the intervening week until the second date where we went out for pizza. I think I may have picked the wrong place, cause the place was louder than expected, and I think she was expecting more of a romantic place. We had a long walk back to her bus stop, where it rained a bit so I got my umbrella out and protected her. In fact I think the long walk was probably more enjoyable for both of us than eating the pizza. Overall I think the second date was enjoyable, but not as good as the first but she agrees to meet up for the third time next week.
Overall the next week, besides sending text to arrange next date, there isn't much flirty text between us. I try and send some funny texts, and she responds back, but it seems to die out, and sometimes she takes ages to reply which makes me a little nervous she's lost interest in me.
The third date was at a burger bar, which was great, cause it was pretty much just us two for nearly three hours, and we made each other laugh a lot. She also mentioned she always wished she got married in her 20's, and looking back, I should've delved deeper into it more, but we just kept talking with her. Between us, conversing in person just feels effortless between us, like we've known each other for ages. I try to schedule a date at an art gallery, but it's not open for another week, so we agree to do that for a later date, and just eat next time. As we were catching a train back, I screwed up because when she sat on the train, I sat next to her, but I left a little gap cause I didn't want to seem too forward, and she noticed which I'm not sure made her sad. But as we left, we gave each other a hug goodbye
Again like the previous week, intermittent texting between the two of us, and she really isn't that big of a texter, so I hope that's true, cause I always have this fear she's speaking with other guys who are cooler than me.
Then on a Thursday, I ask her if she wants to have dinner with me the next day, and after a couple of hours, she says yes and sounds great. I ask her if there's any place she really wants to go, and she said this Korean BBQ has held her interest so we go there, and that date was pretty good as we talked and ate for about 2 hours. She had to leave early cause she was feeling tired as she was painting her apartment so she was knackered out, so before we said goodbye I gave her another hug, but in hindsight, should have given her a bigger hug like an embrace. At this point, we only flirted a little bit, and physical contact was nearly zero, as I didn't really have the courage to talk to her, even though we were eating side by side at the BBQ. She talked about her ex, and I briefly talked about that as well, but I felt like that was a good opportunity to find out what happened between the both of them
Before we left, I said did she want to go that art gallery we talked about, and she said she forgot about that which made me a little sad cause she sounded excited about going there, but now she forgot about, which makes me think these dates we've had aren't as important to her as they are to me. Also she said she wasn't sure if she could make it to the day, cause she was still painting her apartment and she wanted to finish it before the holidays were over, which is fair enough. Stupidly though, I offer to help out with the painting but she said it's alright, thanks for the offer. I know that was a terrible idea, because part of me knew she'd say no, but I thought if I said yes, at least she'd know I was willing to help. She'd said she'll let me know if she can make it to the art gallery on the weekend if she finishes the painting in time, and she would post an update.
Which brings us to the current moment in time. I didn't really want to pressure her too much about the next date, so I was going to let her tell me when she was ready to go to the art gallery. She has another couple of days to finish the painting before she has to go back to work, so part of me is like don't bother her, and when she's back at work, then ask her out for another date (unless she's finished her painting way earlier, then we can go to the art gallery)
So after that long story, a couple of questions I had for everyone:
- I feel like the four dates have been great, but I feel like it can go on another level. I was thinking of asking her what was her first impression of me when we met all those years ago, cause I feel like that can lead into good topics, plus I feel like it can naturally lead into me telling her how I liked her then, and still like her now.
- Also feel I can ask her about her last relationship with her ex? What's a good way to bring this up, do I perhaps have to talk about my last ex to make it easier for her to talk?
- Is there any other deeper questions I can ask her? If you google this questions, you get all these list of questions you would never ask a girl in real life?
- In terms of flirting, I think I should try to increase physical contact, so do girls prefer guys making contact with her shoulder or thighs? I'm definitely going to give her a tighter hug when we say goodbye
- A friend of mine says at the end of the date, I should go for a kiss, but do you think from what you've read above, that it's time for that? My plan was instead of the hug which she would expect, I'd whisper can i kiss you, and see what happens?
- Overall, based on from what you've read, do you think I still have a shot with her? Cause I feel like this fifth date (when it happens) is like make or break for me.
Any opinions or help is greatly appreciated, I REALLY like her now, and don't want to lose her at all.
On a side note, earlier on one of the dates, she had mentioned she wanted a Shiba Inu dog for her apartment, so I bought a mini pot plant in the shape of a Shiba Inu (which should be arriving within a week) with a note saying "Until you get a real Shiba Inu, this will have to do for now". I hope she likes it when I give it to her, unless something happens between the both of us prior to the arrival of the gift
TL;DR - I've been crushing on a girl for three years, but through a series of fortunate events, I've gone on four dates with her. Want to see if I can take it to the next level, but there may be signs that may not be possible, so asking for help what I should do for the fifth date?
[link] [comments]
from Dating Advice https://ift.tt/2QMZ9Dl
via IFTTT
No comments:
Post a Comment