This topic has been on this subreddit for years and I think it’s one of the most important tips, in my nonexistent dating life. I’ll share a nutshell of my personal story about this. Hopefully I’m not too alone with this experience.
I met this one girl in the summer. We had the exact same taste in music, she was super easy to talk to and I found her to be very physically attractive. To make a long story short, she ghosted me after a few months. My behavior was definitely needy and clingy.
Fast forward to the school year in the fall, I met this one girl. She was super friendly and kind, not the best looking physically, but i just noticed her personality first. After getting to talk to her during the semester, I realized we had nothing in common. I didn’t really have chemistry with her either. The problem was that I did not disclose the fact I didn’t like her early on. I felt horrible because she confessed to me at a certain point she liked me a lot. We didn’t do anything sexually ever, but I remember having a realization laying in the bed one night with her.
The only reason why I went along with her hugging me, kissing me, going over to her dorm, was because I felt accepted. I was still crushed after the summer girl who I really liked had just tossed me like an object. This current girl filled that void temporarily but I had still had the other girl on my mind. I knew I had to cut it off. I did the coward thing and ghosted her. Yes, I know, I’m a bad person.
When you do what I did, no one wins. You actually feel lower coming out at the end. So when that dream hot charming blonde you met at Starbucks decides she isn’t interested anymore, don’t go and find anyone. Wait until you truly feel interested in someone. But I feel the best thing for anyone to do is to say what you truly feel. It makes everything much easier instead of trying to dance around smokescreens people put around their intentions.
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