I’ve had a series of bad dating experiences over the past year.. 3 different people that I got excited about (now I realize looking back they were doing a little love bombing, talking all about our future etc so getting excited was irresistible). All three ended up ghosting me or fading with no real explanation after the first 1-2 dates. All ended up meeting a man (I’m a lesbian) that they liked better so I was dropped instantly.
A couple lessons I have taken are 1) don’t text for too long before meeting in person to minimize whatever emotional attachment is developed before knowing each other IRL, 2) asking directly how interested they really are in women and could potentially see themselves dating or even marrying one, to minimize feeling like just a lesbian toy or trial.
These have helped but I still find myself getting excited and then let down and hurt in the early stages. I try to keep my expectations low but I don’t meet a whole lot of women who I click with and let’s face it the lgbt dating pool is smaller anyway. In between those last 3 people I took a long time alone to get my head right again before going back out and, instantly having my inner peace and mental health messed up again lol. I was in a LTR for 8 years so am so out of practice with dating and am getting close to feeling like just giving up and enjoying my solitude.
So for the sake of being resilient how do you actually keep up expectations low and not keep getting hurt by strangers who just want to play with you?
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