So we dated most of last year, although the pandemic made it hard because we live over an hour apart. I am a 41 year old female. He (m32) was often confused on what he wanted due to the fact he works away for weeks at a time and his ex cheated with his best friend when he was away at work. He ended up going away to work last september and not contacting me for a few days and pretty much told me gtf over it when i contacted him asking what was up… because i knew he was unsure what exactly he wanted apparently it was ok to just one day ditch me after almost a year of dating without saying a word despite him telling me just days before that he did want a relationship, and he started seeing a woman who is a secretary at the new job he just started when he went away. Anyway it hurt a lot to be treated that way and i held a grudge for a while. He tried contacting me a few times and i was kind of mean and told him to leave me alone. I’ve dealt with my feelings and whatnot and we recently reconnected and actually talked and i felt ok with seeing him, not to get together again but just to spend time together and talk and stuff. Anytime we spent together previously he always brought his son who was 9 at the time. I have a daughter who was 10 so it wasn’t a huge deal it just sucked that we ALWAYS had his kid with us… my daughter had friends she would visit or i could get sitters but with his son here it was always expected that they play together and we all do stuff together allllll the time. Not much time for us to have alone time. Anyhow he was supposed to come visit last weekend but something came up and he said he would come before he had to go back to work in a weeks time. Now he is trying to make it a plan that he bring his kid snd “we can all watch a movie together and get snacks”🙄 For one, we’re not dating again at this point and i would rather feel things out, so i don’t feel obligated to have his kid here. We should have time alone to reconnect right? My daughter isn’t always stuck to me and spends time with friends so it’s not like we would have to be with her 24/7. I also am nervous about seeing him again after what we went through and don’t want the added anxiety of having him visit while having the kid as a distraction.
I’m i wrong for having these feelings? I feel maybe i should just tell him i don’t want to see him at all… if i’m going to have to always spend time with his kid if we start dating again it’s not worth it to me. I’m fine with “family” time but not every single time and that’s how it was before.
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