I’m F/late 20s and looking for a long term relationship. I joke on apps with the “casually looking for something serious” line because while I do want something serious I don’t want to jump into something too quickly and am fine dating a couple of people casually until I find something worth spending more time on.
In my ideal world, I would go on a couple of dates with a guy and then we’d have sex. We could continue “casually dating” with other people while being “sexually exclusive” until we’re more comfortable to fully DTR. Beyond safety, I know mentally/emotionally I can’t really deal with thoughts about him having sex with me on Tuesday night, with someone else Wednesday, and then being back with me on Thursday, even if he’s not my boyfriend.
I have no problem with either of us going on other dates and exploring during this time, but if he wanted to have sex with someone else I would want at a minimum a conversation but more likely I’d want him to just end it with me and pursue things with the other girl.
Am I being unrealistic to ask this of people? Without fail when I have brought this up to guys they have ended things with me because they aren’t ready to “commit”. I make it clear that I wouldn’t expect the same things from him as a boyfriend because he wouldn’t be one. It seems to me like they get stuck on the word “exclusive” and just feel like it’s too much of a limitation to not fuck someone else?
I honestly don’t know how other people handle this part of dating. I don’t want to wait months before sleeping with someone! Do I need to adjust my expectations?
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