Short background:
I knew this girl (f27) for a pretty long time online and we spoke alot but couldn't meet in a long time because of the distance. We used to flirt a little bit over phone and face time. When we finally decided to meet she wanted it not to be a traditional date setting, because of her previous bad dating experiences and her self proclaimed fear of intimacy and her need to take it slowly. I don't have lots of dating experience and also want to take it slowly to begin with, so we agreed on this. It felt good for both of us to lower the pressure.
Story:
I travelled far to a place close to hers where we met. We hung out for 8 hours and had the best of times. Given what we had agreed on, i did intentionally not make any attempts on her other than some small compliment. However as the hours past her behavior drifted away from our agreement and she started to become close and flirted the heck out of me. (This was not under alcohol). She was spinning around me, touching me, pushing me as she joked with me, put her fingers on my neck, leaning towards me, spontaneously throwing her arms around me hugging me very intensely, putting her arm around me as we walked, looking deeply into my eyes alot etc. I found it very nice but it also got me confused given what we had talked about before. I interpreted this as she was interested in me and liked me. When we left she once again hugged me intensely and for a long time.
Some days past by and i decided to call her. On the phone she was ice cold. She nervously ran on to talk about her job immediately and it felt like she didn’t even want to recognize that we had met. I tried to redirect the conversation as i was curious about how she perceived it. I thanked her for the time and said it was a pleasure meeting her. Her only reply was ”oh ok, how good”, and then proceeded to talk about the city we were in. I said that we would have to meet again to do all the things that we talked about this time but didn’t have time for. She didn’t really answer that. She then said that it was nice ”not being any different from speaking on the phone”. Like what!? She literally flirted the heck out of me and was very physical. I told her that i perceived some mixed signals referring to her behavior around me. She said that she was just experimenting to see if it was something there, but as soon as she got home she felt nothing. She stated that it probably had nothing to do with me. She told me that she had a crush on me some 2 months ago, but then had developed feelings for her ex and was recently rejected and heartbroken. However during our date she told me that she was going to her ex for a birthday party later the same weekend and that they had such a good friend relation now. I hadn’t heard anything about that story before either, during our plentiful calls. So i don’t know what to believe.
This got me kinda hurt as i started to really like her after our date. I also feel confused and upset as i think this was dishonest. Is this normal behaviour? Or why do people even act like this? Am i overreacting? Just some second opinion on this would be appreciated. I think i'm more confused than anything.
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