I went on a first date with a man and found myself attracted to the waiter. Almost left my number, but thought that would be rude. I continue dating the man, we end up moving in together. A few months later I tried to leave my job but the area manager convinced me to transfer to the restaurant with the waiter.
A few years pass and my relationship starts to fall apart. The waiter and I had been getting a little closer it seemed and I had admitted that I have like an actual crush. He has a way of pulling information out of me, and seeming like he actually cares, and not being put off by brutal honesty.
We chatted one night and seemed to leave off at agreeing that we will almost certainly smash it out one day and maybe there is something really good here. But I value our friendship too much to use him as a rebound, and he wants me to take time to figure out myself and heal before going chasing after boys.
Now I am a month and a half into being single, dying of hornyness and lack of cuddles, wondering what is the God damn point of waiting and healing? What's the difference between healing and sulking? I want some damn male flavored attention and he's the only one I want, but since the ex and I broke up it seems like he's taken kind of a step back.
He's still doing his normal every day flirting, but isn't interested in group hangs or one on one, or even really the long talks we used to have. He's an introvert and I get that, it's always been difficult.
But HOW LONG am I supposed to take to heal? Am I supposed to be one one to say 'wow I feel so much better, I'd like to sit on your face now, please.' Or am I supposed to sit around like an injured deer until he makes the move and let him be the big man here?
Honestly, I'm trying to just live my life and move past it all but he is an intrusive thought that I just can't shake. Always has been.
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