I (20f) met a guy (19m) early last year on a course and he started flirting with me back then, but got a girlfriend shortly after. They dated for about 6 months then broke up and soon after he reached out to me in November last year while he was in Australia. Since then we consistently spoke for around 4 months and overtime my feelings grew for him, and it seemed like his did too. His trip lasted 6 months in total before he came back here in May, and in our conversations he made a lot of references to the future, saying things like how he wanted to meet up with me for coffee when he’s back, how he wanted to get me a snack from Australia, how his family and friends would like me (making it seem like i’d meet them), etc. He gave the impression that I was the only girl he was talking to, since he’d mention how only me, his best friend (a guy), and his family are people he’s always responding to. Once he also talked about how he stayed over at someone’s house, stating that it wasn’t a girl.
Everything was going great between us until one day in March he was honest with me about the fact that a girl asked him out on a date and he wanted to go, and that he told her he can’t date anyone while he’s there and he said she’s fine with that. He also indicated it may lead to more but that it ‘doesn't matter’, I guess because it wasn’t gonna turn into a real relationship. He said he still wanted to see me when he came back despite this.
I also noticed he hid his Instagram story from me prior to even telling me about this situation, which showed a girl going bowling with him - potentially the girl he was going out with.
This made me pretty uncomfortable. Although we hadn’t officially dated yet it was clear that we were heading towards a relationship, and this situation also felt like it was out of character for him. He mentioned himself that he ‘didn’t see this coming’ and said “I’m sorry if you feel led on”.
So in my response to him I said I wasn’t really interested in talking to him in general even when he comes back here, but I wish him the best.
He said he respected my decision, also wished me the best, and stated that he’d still be happy to see me when he was back. I didn’t respond and since then I never initiated contact with him. There were a few times where he would reply to my Instagram stories but I would simply ‘like’ the responses and not say anything back.
Then one day in May (when he already came back here) he told me he was gonna delete his social media and gave me his new number, stating that I could message him if I ever needed anything. I saved his number but didn’t contact him through it.
Since then he’s been away from social media and I’ve started to really miss him and question if I should’ve broken things off or if I should reach out to ask him how he’s doing.
Am I just overthinking this or does reaching out to him sound reasonable in this situation?
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