Hey everyone,
I’d love some advice or insight because I feel really confused and hurt right now.
A few months ago, I was talking to this Norwegian guy (33M). I’m 29F, Latina. We built a connection online over several months — deep talks, good energy, and plans to meet during my trip to Europe.
At some point, things got blurry, and I deleted him from social media. But when he realized it, he came back saying he had strong feelings for me, wanted to make things right, and asked if we could still meet. I told him: “Only if you’re serious — book the tickets, arrange everything, and then we talk.” A month later, he came back saying everything was settled. He’d taken time off work, booked his flights and accommodation, and was ready.
He arrived a few days before me and… went partying, kissed other girls, and didn’t seem emotionally prepared. Still, I thought, maybe we just need to reconnect. But when I landed, he didn’t even come to pick me up. He just told me to “take some time for myself.”
After that, no contact. I sent him a few messages on Snapchat (then deleted them), and nothing came from him. Days passed. Then, randomly, I ran into him while jogging. We talked and even ran together — it felt meaningful, at least to me. But again, after that: nothing. No invite to the beach, to dinner, no messages — even though we’re staying literally 1km apart.
It just doesn’t make sense. We were 12,000km apart back home, but now that we’re 1km apart, he pulls away. Why?
I told him I believe I have an anxious attachment style, and that maybe he leans avoidant. He disagreed but said he appreciated me sharing. I couldn’t take the emotional confusion anymore, so I sent a “goodbye” message and blocked him on Instagram and Snapchat. He just replied “really??”
I’m left wondering: Why would someone go through the effort of fixing things, booking everything, flying across countries — just to emotionally disappear when I finally arrive?
Any perspective would help 🙏
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