Im going shorten this down as much as I can with incorporating as much detail as possible.
I’m M28 dating M24 the just about 3 months. I’m head over heels for this girl (we know eachother years but never were close)Ive stoped talking to any other girls, left all dating apps and genuinely not interested in any other women than her. After 3 weeks of dating she put me in the friendzone and said she just wanted to be friends as she can’t give me what I want and can’t put in 100% as she can’t afford any distraction (she’s a nurse in final year of her masters) she’s into me and likes me but just wants to be friends for now and said things would be different if she didn’t have all this stuff going on. I pull back and decide to treat her as a friend she doesn’t like that and addresses it, long story short I just decided to be myself minus the romance and endearment. Week later we end up having sex…after this she became more affectionate and loving…weird part to me is she only “misses me” and is affectionate/ loving after sex…as days go on it fades and a wall is put back up
Now we ended things, before she made this decision to end it I told her how I felt and that I don’t want to be in a situation where I’m sure about her and she’s not. So she still uncertain and will think about it and let me know. After getting this off my chest on the way home i realised how emotionally heavy this was and how i was rushing things and that she should feel certain about me in her own time and naturally. After this realisation I started putting my self first and regulating my feelings for her and focusing on myself more. I told her this and she was glad and so was i because things could develop slowly and organically now without any pressure on her.
2 days later she text me saying she decided she wants to end it. Met up in person tried reasoning with her but she said she just wants to be freinds, she wants things to stay the same but no romance, no kissing no sex none of that. She said she can’t do that because she can only do that with someone if she wants to pursue them and right now she doesn’t want anything romantic. There’s no other guy involved and she’s not waiting for the next best thing and she wasn’t using me according to her. She can’t fault me and this is her issue she still has unresolved trauma from past ex.
I then said i need space and she was shocked. I said if we’re going to be friends how long will it last till we get intimate again and the cycle will repeat. Not even an hour after I left she text me. I didn’t open it till the next day.
She text me again in response to a post about me at a bar saying “i don’t want to sound psycho but are you going to be dating other people and it’s okay if you are i just want to know cuz i see your out dating”
For clarification I wasn’t on a date and my response to her was “before I answer your question why does it matter if I’m dating other people if you want nothing romantic with me” she responds “your right it’s just that when i figure things out and with time I realise I’m ready for you i want to know you will be available or I’ll leave you alone”
I then said “I’m not looking to date or get to know anyone right now I’m focusing on myself but if someone comes along and it feels right in taking the opportunity”
She then said “okay I understand, wish you best in life <3”
And that’s it we haven’t spoke in 3 days. Now i still want her and I want to reach out but I don’t think it’s the right thing to do. And i don’t think she will reach out either. Still mad about this girl so I’m not sure what to do in this situation. I don’t want to give her up but thing have to change if she comes back
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