I’ve been dating this girl for about two months, and I’ve recently learned a lot about her past that’s been hard for me to process. I’m talking about drug use, meeting guys online for one-night stands, heavy partying, and very impulsive sexual behavior. Some of this she told me herself, and some I saw in old messages on her phone—with her permission.
She’s very outgoing, a social butterfly, and gets a lot of attention from men. Even when we first started talking, she was open to having sex on the first date. I didn’t want that. I was looking for companionship and something real, not a quick sexual situation.
Over time, I treated her with care—listened to her, was consistent, respectful, and emotionally present. Now she’s very attached. She says she’s finally happy, that she feels safe, that she doesn’t want to drink anymore, and that she wants to live more like I do. I’m more old-school. I value connection, stability, and certain moral boundaries when it comes to someone I fall in love with.
I try hard to tell myself that the past is the past—but every time I learn something new, I shut down. I start thinking about leaving. She can’t seem to accept that possibility and is almost forceful about us staying together.
The last thing that really shook me was reading a message she sent to a friend describing a sexual encounter with a guy she met on Bumble—something very impulsive and casual. That image stuck in my head, and I haven’t been able to shake it.
On top of that, our sexual compatibility isn’t great. She’s into things that I’m not comfortable with or experienced in, which makes intimacy feel more stressful than connecting.
So here’s where I’m stuck: I like this girl. I care about her. But her recent past—less than a year ago—feels completely incompatible with how I see relationships and the kind of partner I want.
Am I wrong for feeling this way? And if not… what do I do?
[link] [comments]
from Dating Advice https://ift.tt/aE7rIBZ
via IFTTT
No comments:
Post a Comment