I [28F] started seeing this guy [30M] back in November. Things were going well, we were never "official" but it was moving towards that path. Back in March, he told me he found out he has cancer. It was a tough night but I told him my feelings had not changed and that I would be here for him. We agreed to keep seeing each other. Then the quarantine hit. He went back home with his family (about 2 hours away from the city we live in). We haven't seen each other since that night but have kept in constant communication via Facetime, texting, snapchat, etc.
Around early April, I asked if he was comfortable with going for a "socially distant" walk. I offered to drive to his town so he wouldn't have to make the trip. I wanted to see him, but also wanted to see how he was doing with his cancer. I felt it was more appropriate to discuss in person than over text or Facetime. He asked to postpone and offered to reschedule. This has happened multiple times now. We still haven't seen each other in person. Communication slowly dwindled the past few weeks so I after a short hiatus I asked if he wanted to meet for dinner. I told him I would cook for us. He happily agreed and said he would be back in the city sometime this week and would let me know.
I reached out on Monday asking if he would still be back and if he was I could make a store run and prep for the dinner. He left me on read. I will admit I peeked on snap chat maps and saw he was still in his hometown. I texted him yesterday asking how he was and it's ok if he wasn't available. No response and left on read again.
I'm not clueless and I know no response is a response. I'm not angry but in a weird sort of way I'm relieved since I have been putting in so much effort the past two months with little reciprocation. In a normal situation, I would begin to move on and heal. However, I truly did connect with him over our 7 months and genuinely want to see how he is doing both mentally and physically.
My question: Would it be ok to send a message along the lines of "Hey X, I understand it's been a while and a tough time and I totally understand if you don't want to meet up. However, I wanted to see how you have been holding up with the cancer. I'm sorry I hadn't brought it up before but I thought it was more appropriate to discuss in person than over texting or a video chat".
TLDR: I'm ok with the relationship being over since I feel things have fizzled. But I genuinely do want to send a message and make sure he is doing ok with his cancer. It will give me some peace of mind to know where he is at.
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