21M and bi if that matters. I've been single for five years even though I've been genuinely trying and going on dates and stuff. I'm really introverted and shy but I really don't want to be, my whole life I've tried so hard to put myself out there but it never seems to work, it's like I have a mental block. I have a lot of friends (both men and women) and a social life, and before COVID I went out every weekend. But for some reason my social skills just turn off when I'm talking to someone I like. I'll get so nervous I start to stutter and sweat, and it's hard for me to have a good conversation and get to know someone when I'm so anxious. I've been on some dates thanks to OLD but they are usually super awkward for similar reasons and I just don't know how to loosen up and have a good time with someone. I have no idea how to flirt, or how to initiate physical contact politely. I just don't get how it works. And every time I go on a date I get nervous, fail to initiate anything, ruminate on my mistakes after words, and don't plan a second date because I figure I scared the person off.
This has kept me single for a really long time and I'm at the point where I'm just super lonely and I'm losing the little confidence I had. Lately I've been watching my friends date or hook up with whoever they want to because they know how to do it, meanwhile I am just so confused about how to initiate anything with anyone. It makes me feel like maybe I'm just the ugly friend and I'm just not attractive or interesting enough for anyone to like. Obviously Covid/social distancing has contributed to that too but my state is starting to open up again and I have plans to hang out with a girl from Tinder on Saturday. How can I get over my nervousness with people I'm attracted to? I'm tired of being single and lonely, I just want to get over this mental block and actually be able to find a partner.
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