I (26f) was talking/seeing this guy (24m) I met on bumble. We matched in April and he took me out to dinner. He seemed to be normal, very hard working and family oriented. He had told me prior to meeting that his dad (who he was very close to) was in the hospital from falling down the stairs and rupturing a few discs in his back. He told me he’s also been taking care of his little brother (who he’s also very close to) who’s 10 years old while his dads in the hospital. His stepmom (married to his father) apparently went ghost/MIA on the father and her 10 year old son because her parents were also sick and dying in the hospital. He told me he’d be his fathers main caregiver after his father gets out of the hospital as his fathers in rough shape. He also told me that he’d be taking on his fathers medical bills as his father was in a sticky situation with his work and had little to no health insurance.
A few weeks after our first date (we also hung out one more time after our first date), his father got released from the hospital. We made plans to get a hotel and stay overnight for the weekend. He told me he’d get a babysitter for his brother. Well, that Saturday rolls around and I haven’t really heard from him and so I send him a text confirming our plans and he had told me his father had passed away after just coming home from a few days prior. I send my condolences and give him his space as I can’t imagine what he’s going through.
He calls me at 3AM, the day his father passed. He was drinking and said he’s had a crazy day with his dad passing and everything and just wanted a normal conversation. He was drinking and driving and I told him he shouldn’t be doing that and I offered for him to stay over my house rather than drinking and driving around aimlessly. So he comes over around 4am and stayed over till the next day.
In between him taking care of his little brother and his father passing away, he tells me he’s moving into a new apartment to be closer to his work on top of making funeral arrangements (which he claims he’s paying for). One day he FaceTimed me and told me that he was house sitting his sisters apartment because she went to Florida. My first question to him was: why is your sister going to Florida when both of your father just passed away? And he said “idk I guess it’s her way of coping.” Seemed odd to me but I didn’t question the rest of it.
What also seemed weird to me was that he told me he was moving into his new apartment the day of his fathers funeral. Like how do you have the time to move into a new spot and attend a funeral? He also said his sister (because she went to Florida) and step mother did not attend his fathers funeral which seems wild to me. The day of his fathers funeral, he calls me around 9pm, tells me he’s still packing up some stuff for his new apartment. He asked if he could sleep over that night at my house, I told him sure.
A week or so goes by, we’re still regularly FaceTiming but then I noticed he wasn’t texting me as much. I send him a message telling him “I hope you’re doing ok and I’m thinking of you” and he apologizes for being MIA as this past month has been hectic but he still misses me though. I let it be, I don’t hear from him for a week but he posted on Snapchat. So I send him last text saying “hi, just thinking of you, I know things have been hectic for you etc”. And nothing, ghosted.
What’s weird to me is that I don’t think his dad really died. There was no obituary online or in the newspaper. His own sister didn’t attend her fathers funeral. Why did he move into a brand new apartment the day of his fathers funeral…who has time to do all of that in one day? Oh and I looked up his fathers LinkedIn and he is still active on it, liking different peoples posts. It’s ironic because his father has a pretty high up position at an insurance company…how does your father not have insurance to cover medical bills? Idk, seems kinda sketchy to me.
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