Slightly confused but not too bad - could use some thoughts - ATX News Paper

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Friday, January 21, 2022

Slightly confused but not too bad - could use some thoughts

Sexual confusion...

So I, 46M, met a wonderful 36F for a first date on New Year's Day, and since we only live four blocks apart in a city, it's been easy to see each other. There was a quick spark on date one and we set up date 2 and then date 3 just like that and it took off. Last night was date 7 and tomorrow is date 8. Tomorrow night I've actually already been invited to meet her friends, which she said she has not done in a long time with a guy and is a big deal to her, and to do it so fast especially.

We really do have an amazing time together. She says all the right things about chemistry and the spark we have both in person to me and sends me lovely messages as well after we meet like how fantastic it is with me. She says how it's been a hard search to find the combination of physical and mental attraction in someone and here it is with us. I dated 20 other women last year and nothing has come close, so I get it. And this is better than many other years of dating too. We laugh a ton together, our texting is perfect and we are very affectionate. So really, I am so reassured we are on the same page about stuff. I love her open communication with that.

So my confusion is a bit with hooking up. You'd think I'd have this figured out at 46 years old and having been with women since 18 but this one is confusing me. This might be pertinent, she does have a religious background, went to a Catholic college, and then worked at a Catholic affiliated organization, though became disillusioned with the church as the years progressed and has essentially renounced it as of 4 years ago, and left that job at the same time.

Up till date 5 we had just kissed. Great kisses. All is well. Last week date 5 she came over for dinner, we made out a lot and our shirts ended up off. I did suggest we go lay in my bed and she said no and I said of course, we will go at your own pace, whatever you are comfortable with. The makeout sessions were super passionate and intense and she was really into it. An hour long of just making out on my couch.

Date 6 was a few days later, and she stayed over, so yes, this time we did get into my bed. And we did get naked. She was ridiculously wet and she came in like 2 minutes with my fingers and then my mouth and then my fingers again over the course of an hour. And she kept saying how turned on she was. A lot. We talked about sex but I had no condoms so that was off the table. But she didn't really try to touch me. In the morning things got hot and heavy and I made her orgasm again, in like 2 minutes. This time she did reach down and touch me and I started getting into it but then she stopped.

Last night we started making out on the couch again, things got hot and heavy, and I ended up fingering her and she was again so damn wet and turned on and came hard in a couple minutes. But didn't make a move to touch me below my chest. I did suggest we lay down but she said she knew if she laid down she would want to stay over and she couldn't because it's a work night. Understandable. I did joke with her that she is just scared to let go and she laughed and said, you know, part of it is wanting to still feel in control and not losing that sense. But again, she didn't make a move on me. And I love making someone I am into feel pleasure, so I'm loving this, but still feel a bit unwanted in regards to my own body.

And here I am going to meet her friends. Is she just a bit shy with trying to get a guy off or is she maybe selfish in bed? I mean she really doesn't seem like a selfish person to me in the slightest about anything so far. So I'm confused. Anyone have any similar experiences? I'm thinking of just asking her if next time she is over the same thing happens.

I completely respect taking things at her own pace, so it's not that. I just am confused as to what is her wall here.

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