I matched with a guy (24M) on Hinge a few days prior to moving to a big city. After just over a week of talking, he asked for my number and a few days after we met up for drinks in the city. He paid for most of the rounds, but I offered and managed to pay for the last one. Since then, we’ve been seeing each other approx. twice a week. It’s been around 3 months now. I’ve met some of his friends, he’s met some of mine, we’ve been on two double dates, as well as lots of 1-1 dates. He always holds my hand around his and my friends. Over Christmas we both went back to our family homes, but we messaged everyday (albeit not much throughout the days). He said he mentioned me to his family over Christmas. We have a lot of fun together, but also talk about deep topics and he has confined in me about the personal stuff he has had going on recently.
Here’s where it gets confusing for me. After a month, I told him I liked him and that I’m only interested in getting to know him. He said he felt the same, and we haven’t spoke about it again until earlier this week. The other day, I messaged him saying that I like him and am interested in only him, but that I’m confused as to what this is. He said that he likes me and has only been seeing me, and that he considers us to be seeing each other, and asked what I want out of this. To which I said that I can see this going somewhere / would like it to. He said that he’d like to think it’s going somewhere but that he’s not there yet. I was a bit disappointed by his response and wanted to clarify whether he means that 1) provided things continue to go well, he would be keen to take the next step when he feels ready, or 2) whether he’s yet to decide whether he would ever want to take the next step. He said it’s “definitely the former” and that he “likes where things are atm”. He arranged to see me a few days later and it was really good but we didn’t bring up this convo.
Here’s my dilemma: I really like him and don’t mind taking things slow (it took me 6 months to get into my last two relationships), but I feel like I put in more effort to arrange things and I worry that a few more months will go by and nothing will have changed.
Truthfully I just feel a bit down bc it has made me feel like I’m not good enough.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
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