Truthfully. I feel worn down, by life in general. I won't go into details, but I've been pushing through what feels like one long, never ending storm. I've lost loved ones, friends have abandoned me, relationships toppled. I just feel tired. I'm fixing myself, getting help, going to work, etc, but all I want is just connection. I'm not looking to have my life put together, I'm not looking to run away from my problems, I just want that feeling of waking up to a good morning text again. That feeling I get looking at someone's face, that flush warmth I get when they make laugh. I'm tired of my own company, I'm tired of hearing my own voice.
But no matter how hard I try, I'm unanswered, no one wants me, not even as a toy to throw away later. What am I doing wrong? I've tried to be sincere, and kind to mask those unfavorable traits every says to. I look my best, I fake a smile, even a laugh. But it's not enough what am I doing wrong? Am I just undesirable? Is it me? What am I missing? I don't know anymore and I'm starting to feel desperate. I just don't want to be alone.
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